Guilt and Regrets
by Ekclectic
Summary: This starts out shadowing the events of "Guilt" A/O pairing - rated M for later chapters - Chapter 9 is up
1. Guilt

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, they belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and whomever else has a stake in the game.

Warning: This fic is heavily based on the episode Guilt. It mentions that episode in detail and delves into what could have happened behind the scenes if all parties were so inclined. It does mention consensual adult themes and much angst. Adult themes are girl on girl - so if that is not your thing or if you are not old enough to read such material then, perhaps… just maybe you might want to hit the back button. If not - then enjoy.

**Guilt and Regret**

Olivia watched the icy blonde prosecutor out of the corner of her eye as the tall woman dictated to the rest of the squad the expectations of the current operation. She noticed the softening of her husky tone as she directed the young boy in the room as to what his part in the operation would be and felt her lips turn upwards slightly. She had seen more fire and desperation from the attorney in this case than in any other and, for whatever reason, Sam Cavanaugh had touched something in her. Olivia wondered what that something could have been. On a violence scale this case barely tipped the chart, not to undermine Barnett's crimes… he had boasted of molesting over a 100 boys and that in itself was absolutely sickening. Perhaps that was why Alex had latched onto this case so strongly. Olivia knew that each of them had their personal axe to grind when it came to the crimes they saw everyday.

Her personal thoughts were set aside when she heard her name being sternly called and she turned her attention to the penetrating gaze of her ADA.

"Still with us detective Benson?"

Olivia nodded and turned her attention back to the conversation, taking the proffered ear piece from her partner. Slowly she tucked the device behind her ear and laced the wire beneath her coat. She frowned slightly and turned to look out over the union station wondering how much longer it would take their target to arrive. She glanced back at Alex as she and the rest of the squad moved to infiltrate and blend into the scenery. She blinked and found the sullen blonde staring back at her, her clear blue eyes showing the wear and tear of the past month. Olivia gave the ADA an encouraging smile and then exited to take her spot.

Alex listened carefully as Sam and his abuser spoke. She could hear the admiration in the young man's voice and it sickened her; not at Sam but at the sick and sadistic ways a pedophile incited trust in their young victims. She would never understand it. She blinked back the exhaustion, she truly did not know how the detectives did it. They had been awake and working longer than she had, but none of their faces showed the strain as easily as hers - and a part of her resented the hell out of the visible weakness.

She nodded and clicked her pen, in and out - a nervous habit, but anytime they had to involve a civilian in a sting operation, they had good reason to be nervous. She blinked in disbelief as Sam's clear voice sounded over the speaker telling his abuser to run. Dammit… this wasn't part of the plan. She turned to look at Cragen, encouraged as he stood quickly and alerted the detectives outside to apprehend Barnett. She turned and saw the horror on Sam's mother, and flashed what she hoped was an encouraging smile before following the captain out of the room.

She wanted to slam her fist against the wall. She wanted to storm the interview room and choke the truth out of the smug son of a bitch that continually eluded her best detectives questions. The violence quaking within her was disturbing. How had she allowed this case to get under her skin in such a way. She slipped her glasses on - grateful for their ability to mask the growing emotions she was sure were easily readable in her baby blues. She turned and listened to Cragen and Huang discussed the case and why they felt Sam had warned his attacker. They wanted her to talk to the boy, convince him that he had done nothing wrong, that the way her felt about Barnett was normal and that they still needed him to testify. This case was infuriating and trying - it continually put her in situations she had no experience in and she felt the same pressure she was sure she laid on her detectives. In spite of all of it she found herself in a secluded room, looking into the tortured face of Sam, trying to convince him and herself that everything would be ok.

Olivia watched the exchange through the drawn blinds. She couldn't hear what was being said but the facial expressions that were playing across both faces said plenty. Cabot was calm and collected, but Sam's continually contorted - out of confusion, guilt and any number of emotions. The young man's voice rang out as he flew from the room, screaming that he was through and that he wasn't a fag and that he wanted to go home. Olivia felt her brows furrow, just what the hell had Alex said to him. She watched the boy's mother lay into the ADA and saw the self-reproach on Alex's delicate features. Olivia felt a familiar urge to comfort the younger woman but held back, unsettled by the appearance of such emotion - unsettled by her concern for the attorney and frozen in confusion of why she gave a damn.

Alex waited patiently at her desk, hoping that her detectives would find something, anything, at the pedophiles apartment. She heard the soft knock at her door and looked up to see Olivia Benson standing in the door frame. She didn't have to ask if they had found anything, the disappointment written all over the brunettes features was answer enough. She felt her gaze being drawn to warm intense brown eyes and was surprised when Olivia sat down across from her. Alex jumped slightly as she felt the older woman's fingers against her wrist - her rich voice dropped to a slight whisper.

"I'm sorry Alex - there was nothing incriminating in that apartment."

Alex found herself shrugging slightly, intrigued that she had not moved her hand away from the kind touch. It had been so long since anyone had invaded her personal space out of kindness or concern. She found herself looking down and away as she sought to assuage the detective that she didn't hold her personally responsible, but the words stuck in her throat and she wasn't surprised when the silence caused the detective to stand up, making her way back out the door. Alex found her voice and called out just as the detective crossed the threshold.

"Detective wait."

She watched as knowing eyes turned back to hers and Alex felt a kind of low punch in her gut at the depth and honesty that shone out from that gaze. The feelings and emotions the detective inspired in her seemed to flood forward in that moment - feelings Alex didn't want to deal with, didn't want to identify. Since starting in the unit their had been a look in the detective's eyes that had burned through her façade - a look that seemed to see right through her legal bullshit - a searing gaze and one that never failed to make Alex uncomfortable and yet comfortable at the same time. She watched as the detective reclaimed her seat across the desk and waited patiently for their conversation to continue.

"I need to go and speak to Sam once more time, care to join me?"

Olivia quirked an eyebrow at the invite, unsure of where the attorney was going with this. She didn't really want to immerse herself any further into the case. She had been working on little to no sleep and since Cragen had let her and the rest of the squad off for the evening she'd had every intention of going back to her apartment to play catch up. Something in the crystal blue eyes that stared into hers stopped her from declining the invite. It was the same look the ADA had flashed her before the unsuccessful sting operation had taken place. It was a look that begged to be let in, that begged to be included. It was a look wrought with loneliness and one the detective could easily identify with. She was hesitant to allow herself to spend time with the counselor alone - having already admitted to herself her unhealthy sexual attraction to the graceful blonde. Olivia had never been one to allow gender to determine her level of attraction but she had never felt an attraction this intense to anyone - especially a member of the same sex, let alone a close co-worker. It scared her the way a simple look or touch from the attorney could set off a whole plethora of unwanted, unfulfilled fantasies playing away inside her head.

Despite all that, Olivia could recognize the need for a friend, and she knew that the loneliness Alex felt stemmed from the same reasons she herself was alone… they were both married to the job and if anyone could understand the obsession that comes with the need for justice it was her. She always gave herself freely and wholly to each case, to each victim - regardless to how hard it drained her soul - she gave anyways… and if she could give so much of herself to a complete stranger, then she could certainly give a few hours to the only other woman involved in the day to day horrors she saw that made up her days and nights.

Alex saw the slight nod of the detectives head and stood up, grabbing her coat. "Lets go."

Alex sat patiently holding a hot cup of tea, silently hoping that Olivia would not be too mad at being made to wait for such a long period of time. Alex knew though that this was important and without Sam's testimony she would be forced to release the bastard back on the streets. She did not want the responsibility of even more raped and abused boys to be on her head. She knew she was being pushy but she hoped her heartfelt plea would not fall on deaf ears. Sam's answer surprised her and she felt hope blossom in her chest again as she thanked the young man and his mother before making her way back to the detective and her car.

As she slid into the seat she turned to give Olivia a tired smile and nodded slowly, "He will testify, we still have a case."

She caught the lopsided grin that was so… so Olivia, and felt some of her early tension fade. She reached over and laid a shy hand on the detectives leather coat, "Thank you for coming with me detective."

She saw the surprise on the dark features and ventured to further impart upon the detectives time.

"I know we are both exhausted… and this case hasn't been easy… but I think we could both stand to unwind a little. Its late but would you like to grab something to eat, or we can grab takeout and share a bottle of wine at my apartment if you would prefer."

Olivia swallowed slowly and considered the request that had been so lightly thrown down. On the ride over, despite the silence, she had felt so content and relaxed in the normally aloof attorneys presence… a feeling Olivia rarely experienced alone much less in the company of another… it was addictive and she found herself loath to give it up so suddenly. Choosing to play the role of devil's advocate and choosing to force Alex to make the decision, Olivia shrugged non-chalantly as she replied.

"I haven't eaten since yesterday, but its up to you counselor - I know how draining this case had been on you."

Alex smiled faintly at the non-response and took a chance.

"Well if it is all the same to you detective then I opt for take-out and a bottle of wine - less pretentious plus I have a spare bedroom if you decide you want to stay the night - I don't know about you but I could use some relaxation and some sleep before I move to indict that son of a bitch tomorrow."

Olivia found herself smiling at the curse words that flowed effortlessly from the normally subdued attorney. How was it that curse words could sound so attractive coming from someone who seemed to never use them? She turned and stared at the attorney, a slow smile curving her lips as she started the car.

"You are right about one thing Alex."

Alex cocked an eyebrow at the teasing tone, "Really… what?"

Olivia felt her smile widen as Alex fell for the bait, "You could really use some sleep… you look like shit counselor."

She turned to see the blonde ADA's mouth hang open and found herself laughing along as Alex smacked her arm with her fist. Olivia grinned and wagged a finger, "I think that technically counts as assaulting a police officer Cabot."

Alex smirked slightly, thinking to herself of a different sort of assault she wouldn't mind performing on this particular police officer and then horrified that she would even consider such an idea, she shrugged and turned away - feeling a slight blush staining her cheeks.

"Technically yes, but since I am sure that didn't leave a mark on you, you have no evidence and therefore no case."

She turned to look into smiling brown eyes and rolled her own in return before rattling off the address to the only decent take-out restaurant she knew that was on the way to her apartment. Surprised when Olivia responded by laughingly tipping an imaginary hat, mumbling something about driving Ms Daisy before taking off. Alex used the opportunity to study the detective's strong profile out of the corner of her eye, deciding that she definitely liked the detective with shorter hair - it enhanced her already attractive features. Alex blinked and snapped out of it. What the hell did she think she was doing - entertaining these thoughts. Even if Olivia felt the same way, there was no way in hell they could do anything about it - and it would be professional suicide for them both. Alex shook her head, blaming her lack of control on her lack of sleep and turned to stare at the city scenery that passed by, smirking slightly when she felt the SVU detective's eyes on her. It was an interesting game they played, each of them trying to look and yet always careful not to get caught looking. She shook her head slightly and turned the dial up on the radio.

Alex found herself smiling freely - tired but relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the evening despite the lateness of the hour. The detective was completely different away from the job - full of funny little stories about the cases she and Elliot had caught, the things that the squad argued about during their downtime, some of her more interesting dates. Alex found herself sharing similar stories, fully aware that this was the first time she and the detective had allowed any part of their personal life to be known. The exchange of information came freely and before she knew it they had finished one bottle of white wine and had started on a bottle of red. She caught the yawn that had escaped Olivia's lips and looked at the clock. It was past 2am and Alex paled with the realization that she had less than 8 hours to prepare for the grand jury.

Olivia caught the wide eyed look and stood up, wincing slightly as her muscles and joint popped and groaned in protest. She immediately started to clean up, pausing when she felt a warm hand against her own.

"Leave it Liv, I will take care of it tomorrow. We had better get to bed, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

Olivia smirked and raised a single eyebrow, choosing to twist the ADA's words.

"Bed? Both of us? Counselor, are you propositioning me?"

Alex felt her face burn as her jaw fell open in shock, and before she could stammer a response the silence was filled with the detectives rich laughter. Alex scowled slightly and growled as she leapt forward pushing the brunette back against the couch, smiling as the detective fell very ungracefully against the cushions, her body bowed slightly as an unladylike grunt left her lips.

Alex stood, a smile gracing her lips easily, "For that detective you can sleep on the couch, I will bring you a pillow and blanket."

Olivia sat up. "Hey I thought you said you had a guest room!"

Alex smiled, rolling her eyes as she crooked her finger suggestively, "C'mon Olivia, enough teasing for one night we need our beauty sleep."

And with a wink she turned, calling out over her shoulder, "Especially you detective, you aren't looking too hot."

Olivia grinned, shook her head, committing the evening to memory as one of her most enjoyable in a long time. As she changed into the clothes Alex had left out for her and fell into a bed with decidedly more expensive linens than she knew she would ever own she felt a smile grace her lips and hoped for dreams filled with a certain blonde attorney.

Alex paced slowly and confidently in front of the grand jury as she smoothly asked her prepared questions. She had awoken early this morning and spent the last 3 hours locked away in her office prepping for this very moment. She had felt instant relief when she saw Sam and his mother walking down the hall. Last night with Olivia had reduced the pounding in her temples and alleviated some of the stress that had been building since the start of this investigation. She had awoken refreshed and eager to prosecute, a feeling she had been missing for months now. She had peeked in on her after taking a shower and getting dressed and thought… what were they… co-workers, friends… a detective and her ADA. Labels were difficult to think about at 6 in the morning. Alex felt her lips curve up slightly when she thought of the sleeping detective she had left in her apartment. She shook her head slightly before refocusing her attention to smoothly transitioning Sam's testimony into an indictment against Barnett.

He had done well and as she walked out of the room with him she felt her confidence rising until she looked down the hall she felt it fall again. There was Roy Barnett and his sleaze ball attorney. Before she could react a shout rose from the crowd and Alex felt herself thrown to the floor. She lay there for a moment, stunned, before she felt strong arms pulling her from the floor and shook slightly as a small bead of blood dripped upon her glasses. She assured Elliot she was fine before looking up at the sound of her name. She looked up to see Olivia walking swiftly towards her and for a moment Alex wished it had been Olivia whose arms had been around her, picking her from the floor. She got the next best thing as she felt her face being cradled in warm hands and winced slightly as those same hands gently probed the cut on her head. Embarrassment flooded her system at the extra attention and she pulled away.

"Olivia I'm fine, really. I need you and Elliot to find out who attacked Barnett and why - we may have another victim on our hands."

Olivia looked at the woman she hesitantly wanted to call a friend, seeing the pleading look in the intelligent blue eyes that stared back at her she growled slightly beneath her breath and let her hands fall. She called and officer over and proceeded to instruct him to escort Ms. Cabot to someone who could provide medical assistance and then looked over at her partner, indicating that they should go and question the young man who had quite literally exploded onto the scene.

Elliot caught the odd exchange between his partner and the ice queen and questioned the look that had passed between the two of them. He had felt no obligation towards the tall blonde, choosing instead to isolate the screaming young man and make sure that Sam and his mother were. He had been surprised to see the cut on her head, but he figured she was overdue for some hard knocks the way she liked to saunter around and make his and Liv's lives hell. That was what made the exchange so odd - he and Olivia had discussed the ADA on several occasions and never once had she indicated anything more than a cool professional respect for the risks the lawyer took. He shrugged it off and followed his partner into the interrogation room - hoping that maybe they had caught a much needed break in the case.

Alex glared as she re-entered the squad room. Her impromptu meeting with the defense attorney had left a sour taste in her mouth and now, more than ever, she really could not wait to see the two men in court and send Roy Barnett away for a very very long time. She questioned if the detectives had uncovered anything useful - disappointed but unsurprised by the negative answer. This was definitely a case that she would have to fight to win. She looked at her watch and sighed. She was due to prep Sam Cavanaugh in less than an hour. Her head throbbed where the skin had broken, and even 3 aspirin later she was still having trouble concentrating.

Hours later she wondered if it had been that bump on the head that had made her speak before thinking her sentence all the way through. She tossed and turned as she continued to see the hurt and lost look on the young man's face as the realization that he had merely been used set in. Alex had not realized until that moment the depth of emotion that Sam felt for Barnett and a part of her regretted not driving the boy home. She had not wanted to coddle him or make him feel as though she thought him a child but now, lying in her bed - alone - she could not help but think that she should not have let him walk out the door. The shrill sound of her phone ringing pulled her from her thoughts and she answered it, unquestioningly - horrified by the news that was being delivered. She threw her covers off as she hung up the phone, struggling to re-dress as she drowned in questions and guilt.

Olivia looked up as a tall blonde burst through the hospital doors, looking more ragged and more real than she had ever seen the attorney look. There were unshed tears and a flurry of emotions that ranged in the wide eyes that stared back at her, the normally commanding voice reduced to a shaky ghost of its former self as the ADA asked how it had happened. Olivia looked up as Sam Cavanaugh's mother came through the OR doors and instinctively Olivia braced herself for the onslaught - knowing good and damn well who the mother blamed for the incident. She watched as Elliot took a stance in front of the two of them to intercept the grieving mother and Olivia threw herself in front of the ADA, her hands gripping slender arms in an effort to pull the lawyer away from the conflict. She saw the broken look on Alex's face, and wrapped her arms around her, ushering her from the room, from ER and from prying eyes. She pushed the tall woman into an empty room. As gently as she could she moved Alex to the empty bed, sitting her down on the stiff mattress as she pulled a chair towards her. She heard a small choked sound and looked up to see the normally unemotional ADA shaking, struggling to stop the stubborn flow of tears that leaked from her beautiful blue eyes and ran down pale cheeks.

Olivia stepped forward - Oh Alex - and wrapped her arms around the slim woman, pulling her close and holding her as her body shook from the gut wrenching sobs she could no longer hold in. She gently stroked and rubbed her back, her other hand smoothing the hair that had fallen from the attorney's makeshift bun, tucking errant strands behind her ears as she whispered words of comfort and understanding to the broken woman in her arms.

Alex wrapped her arms around her detective and let herself go. She blamed herself entirely - if she hadn't of been so insensitive, if she had only insisted on driving the young man home, if she had done a better job of prepping him during the sting, if… if…

She felt Olivia's hands stroking her back, her hair, that smooth warm voice whispering to her not to blame herself - it was all their faults… they had all failed Sam Cavanaugh. Alex shook her head no and pulled away, forcing her body to stop shaking, forcing herself to stop crying, forcing herself to be Alexandra Cabot, hot shot sex crimes ADA, cool cold calculating and when she thought she had succeeded in that she looked up into eyes so dark, so warm, so captivating and acted without thinking.

Olivia felt her eyes widen as the crying blonde in her arms, lifted her head, steeled her spine and pressed her lips forward against her own. Olivia froze as she felt wandering hands gripping the lapels of jacket pulling her closer. She felt the pressure let up and felt Alex's lips whispering against hers.

"I know its wrong Olivia but… kiss me… make it go away… please."

Olivia felt her mind shut down at the broken sound of Alex's voice and gave into all the bottled up desire she had tried not to feel for this woman. Gently she leaned forward and tilted her ADA's head up, slowly pressing their lips together - giving Alex plenty of opportunity to break the contact. She felt the sigh against her lips and allowed herself to press closer, teasing the tip of her tongue along Alex's lower lip. Olivia almost groaned as those same lips parted effortlessly allowed her tongue entrance and at the first taste of the blonde, Olivia knew she would forever be lost.

Alex groaned as heat settled below the belt and pulled the detective closer, tangling their tongues together, fisting her hands in short locks. She felt Olivia pressing her back down against the mattress as she broke the kiss in favor of acquiring more oxygen. The break was brief and Alex found herself pressed further back as they mutually crushed their lips together, teeth scraping, tongues twisting and dancing together, hands beginning to wander. It was Olivia who was the first to pull away and Alex stared up at the attractive detective, not wanting to stop but knowing that there were things happening that required her immediate attention - even more so than this

She sat up, refusing to release the embarrassed brunette and looked deep into bottomless eyes. She bit her lower lip and hesitantly leaned forward, lightly kissing the full lips she was beginning to miss already. Her voice barely above a whisper.

"Thank you."

Olivia stood, stunned at what had just transpired - stunned and worried she had made a huge mistake. She could see her working relationship destroyed and a write up in her file, not to mention a sexual harassment suit. Why the hell did she allow herself to do that. Just as she was getting started on berating herself she felt soft warm lips against hers and looked into deep blue eyes, eyes darkened by lust and pain and heard the faint "thank you" her ADA whispered. Olivia backed away and allowed the blonde her space, surprised when the beautiful woman leaned her head against her shoulder, hugging her close.

"I know I have just put you in an awkward situation Olivia, I hope someday you will forgive me. Right now we need to get back to the station - we need to figure out what to do and I need to somehow save this case. I have to save this case… I owe it to him Liv."

Olivia nodded and hugged the tall form close, her voice shaking slightly.

"I will do whatever you need me to do Alex, just say the word."

Alex nodded, grateful that Olivia has chosen not to comment on what had just transpired. She nodded and together they made their way back to the one six.

Olivia perched atop her desk, picking the safest location for her to easily keep an eye on the blonde ADA. Alex was still shaky and had said little on the ride over to the station. What had surprised her was the way Alex had clung to her in the cab and Olivia had been grateful that they had been the first ones back in the station house besides Craven. She saw his concern as she walked in, arms around the attorney as she gently set her into an empty chair. She watched as Alex stiffened her spine, crossed her legs but she was worried at the way the ADA continued to stare off into space. She was grateful that the rest of the guys didn't try and console the attorney and she was winced as Cragen described the extent of damage the young man's suicide attempt had done. She watched as Alex snapped back into the game and she could see the young woman's desire for justice shining in her blue eyes.

Alex grit her teeth as she tried not to glare at the opposing counsel and the judge. She could not believe her case was slipping through her fingers - a manipulated boy left hanging in the wind. Three days… the way things had gone, they wouldn't have been able to make a case in three months. Her desperation found her in a cell with another victim turned abuser trying like hell to find some way to save her case. As much as she had hated dealing with the convicted felon, he had given her a glimmer of hope. She looked at Olivia, asking that she and Elliot try in an area she knew she would fail… asking Linda Cavanaugh to allow them to search her home.

Olivia found herself once again sitting on a desk, looking at and watching Alex as she mentally berated herself and lashed out at the squad. The news that Linda Cavanaugh had refused to allow their search had deflated the normally confident attorney. She saw the unshed tears in the blue eyes and she could hear the desperation in the honeyed voice. She watched as Alex verbally clashed with Elliot and then with the Captain, completely losing her cool and raising her voice. Part of her wanted to reach out and fold the blonde back into her arms, but instead she watched her shoulders slump as her body ran out of steam and looked on in silence as the slender ADA apologized in her own way and turned on heel making her way out of the squad room.

Her heart went out to the ADA as she watched the judge free the man they had worked so hard to put in jail. Her heart went out to the kids, who were unsuspectingly in danger from the bastard. She caught the dejected look on the lawyers tired face and followed her out of the courtroom.

"Alex…"

Alex turned at the sound of Olivia's voice and held up a hand.

"Not right now Olivia… I have to try… I have to do something… I have to try and save this case… I've got to get a warrant for the Cavanaugh residence."

Olivia sighed and nodded, slowly putting her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket.

"What do you need from me counselor, how can I help?"

Alex felt a faint smile tinge her lips, "Just… be here… stay with me for a moment."

Olivia nodded and rested her back against the wall - she watched the tall lawyer as she paced back and forth, forth and back. She could see the sharp mind ticking and instinct told her that Alex was waiting on the judge to leave. Searching the Cavanaugh residence was their only hope. She swung her head around to watch Lena Petrovsky exit the elevator and watched as Alex followed and confronted her. She only heard bits and pieces of the conversation but the look on the ADA's face was confirmation enough that her last ploy had failed.

Alex watched as her last hope disappearing with the closing of an elevator door. It couldn't end this way… it couldn't… a young boys life had been ruined and for what. She wanted to beat her hands against the wall, lash out at something, someone. Gentle hands pulled her away, a soft voice was in her ear - echoing the judges advice to get some sleep. Alex turned to look at the detective - her heart breaking and swelling at the same time. Her mind clicking at a thousand thoughts a minute as she strove to find a loop hole in the law that could and would get her what they needed.

She needed some mental clarity, she needed to be able to focus - sleep was the surest way to that end but she didn't have time. If she didn't move fast, Roy Barnett would be gone and she would have to live with the fact that she had not only driven a boy to his death but she had also released a guaranteed sexual predator back onto the streets. She needed to think and at the same thing she needed to stop thinking… as she sank against the solid form of Olivia and felt that unwanted desire re-awaken within her she knew of one other way to achieve the mental freedom she sought.

Alex turned and pressed the detective to the wall. Her eyes scanning the empty hallways that made up deserted courtroom. She pressed a single finger against the full lips that only hours earlier had been feasting against hers. She lowered her voice, her knee shifting, bending slightly so that it rested between the detectives thighs.

"You said earlier you would do whatever I needed you to do… does that offer still stand Liv?"

Olivia swallowed audibly as she nodded, almost afraid to agree that yes that was indeed what she had said. She was still reeling from what had transpired between them at the hospital and the feel of Alex's thigh sliding between her knees made her resolve weaken. She licked her lips nervously and could of sworn she could still taste the attorney on them. She looked into darkening blue eyes and braced herself - hoping that Alex would not ask her for anything that she was not supposed to give.

Alex, for the first time in her life, felt out of control. The thoughts she was entertaining were forbidden but fractured. She could not believe she had allowed herself to reach for Olivia in the hospital, she couldn't believe Olivia had allowed it and now Alex was contemplating pushing that tangible bond to the edge. She gripped the ends of the white scarf that rested on Olivia's capable shoulders and pulled the detective with her as she backed into an empty interview room. She could see the naked confusion and even a trace of fear in the large brown eyes that stared back into hers but was relieved by the detectives silence. She turned and closed the door, twisting the lock slowly. She turned back and watched as Olivia leaned back against the conference table, arms crossed, patiently. Alex took a shuddering breath and walked until she was toe to toe with the brunette. Gently she gripped the edges of the soft scarf, rubbing the material between her fingertips, biting her lower lip as she lost herself in Olivia's honest gaze.

Olivia broke the silence first, unnerved by Alex's actions - the hesitant look, the empty room, locking the door. She kept her voice low and captured one of the nervous hands that gripped her scarf.

"Hey Alex… what is it?

For the second time during the case Olivia found herself pressed against a lithe beautiful woman. For the second time she found her lips against the blondes and for the second time Olivia felt her mind shut down. This was so wrong, but it felt so right and a part of her felt guilty for allowing it to happen. She felt a smooth tongue sliding over her lips and Olivia pulled back suddenly.

"Wait… Alex… we can't, I can't… you're not… I'm not… this is…"

Alex smiled slightly, kissing the detective during each pause and break of what she was trying to say. Alex finished it by cupping the olive skinned face in her hands and sliding her lips slowly over Olivia's. She slowly kissed an upper lip and then a lower lip, slowly sucking the latter between her teeth, biting gently - tugging slightly as she pulled back, finishing Olivia's sentence.

"Wrong detective?"

Slowly Alex slid the scarf off those strong shoulders, gently pushing the detectives coat back, lowering it past those same shoulders. Leaning forward Alex placed a chaste kiss against parted lips, her hands settling on Olivia's upper arms. She looked deep into the expressive eyes, wondering at the heat, the hesitancy, within them. Her voice dropped suggestively, huskily as she made the decision to pursue the very thing she should not. Gently she rested her forehead against Olivia's and closed her eyes.

"It feels right, it's the only thing that has felt right to me in the last few months. I make no assumptions about you Olivia but when you look at me, through me, to me… I can't think of anything more than this - feeling you against me. It's wrong… we are colleagues, co-workers… but this case… this case had taken hold of me in a way I know only you can understand… I can't think… I have so many thoughts running through my mind… so many… I can't focus. I am running out of time and all I can think of is the taste of you on my lips."

Alex raised her head and paused, before plunging headfirst into the only thing that would be able to burn through her confusion and desperation enough to give her the clarity of thought she needed to win this case.

"You said you would do anything Liv… you helped me forget earlier… now help me remember…"

She felt the detectives hands against her waist and her heart skipped. She felt her body being turned and twisted and felt the cold smooth wood of the conference table against the small of her back. She slowly slid her hands up toned arms and rested them at the back of the detectives neck, her fingertips brushing through the short hairs at the base.

To Olivia, the whole situation was a dream… some sort of surreal universe she had stumbled into. Alex's words had washed over her and somehow she wasn't alone in her attraction, in her desire but she still needed clarity for herself before allowing this to happen again. She rubbed her thumbs back and forth over slim hips, watching in wonder as the normally clear blue eyes deepened and darkened in front of her eyes.

"Alex… this is new to me… I'm not sure what you are asking me to do… "

She watched as a slow smile transformed the attorneys tired and worm features and Olivia was struck once again by how beautiful the blonde was. She felt her head jerked forward and braced her hands against the conference table as the ADA's mouth pressed deliciously against hers again. Olivia struggled internally and in the end gave in. She gripped the slim hips against her and lifted the attorney up onto the table, pressing her hips forward, spreading the attorneys toned thighs as she settled between them. She groaned as she felt Alex's tongue invade her mouth and, teasingly, Olivia closed her lips around it - sucking, eliciting a low groan from her ADA. She was drowning against that hot clever mouth. She pulled back, smirking slightly at the disappointed sound that echoed slightly in the empty room. She nudged the attorney's head up, giving her access to the graceful curve of an alabaster neck and proceeded to place hot kisses against that smooth skin.

Alex gasped at the feel of Olivia's teeth, tongue and lips as they nipped sucked and soothed a hot pulsing path down her neck. She rocked against the detective, the oversized belt buckled creating delicious tension between her thighs. She was already soaked, and the pulsating ache was becoming difficult to ignore. She knew Olivia had no intention of taking things that far, but Alex needed a release - any release. Alex slid a single hand down the detectives chest, her fingertips tracing the hard nipples that tented the thin material of her shirt. She slid her hand lower, trailing it down hard clenching abdominal muscles before shifting to her own body as she hurriedly undid her slacks, jerking the zipper down. She pulled the brunette's head back up and pressed their lips back together as she found Olivia's hand blindly and pushed it between their bodies, moaning the explicit order for Live to touch her.

Olivia pulled her head up momentarily only to have her lips pressed back against Alex's throat, her hand thrust against the apex between Alex's thighs - her knuckles brushing a dampened material that only confirmed how badly Alex wanted this, needed this… needed her. Her mind rebelled at being used, rebelled at allowing herself to fall into feelings and desires that were better off being ignored. But she could not ignore the harsh pants and moans against her ear, the firm cupping of her breasts or the taste of the skin against her lips. Sensing that this was what Alex sought, what she needed in order for her to go on Olivia pushed aside the dampened silk and smoothly penetrated the prone figure beneath her.

Alex felt the tightening in her gut and arched her back as strong fingers set a steady pace, a pace she willingly matched. She closed her eyes and rocked against the woman atop her, willing herself to stop thinking, willing herself to focus on her own selfishness. She was close and struggled not to cry out as the pace slowed and changed up. She wrapped her arms around her detective, digging her fingers into strong muscles and moaned, asking without words for a release she did not deserve.

Olivia complied and buried her face against the silken blonde hair of her would be lover and flicked her thumb against the ADA's engorged clit, her fingers slowly picking up the pace they had set early… moving faster, sliding deeper, curling into the spot she knew would send Alex over the edge.

Her world exploded, vision blackened, all senses focused on the pulsating force of her orgasm and the simultaneous release of pent up sexual frustration. Alex jerked her hips riding out the sensation, and as she fell back to catch her breath, her body slowly coming down, she felt something covering her and heard the click of a closing door. She shook as she sat forward, Olivia's name on the tip of her tongue, only to realize that the detective had left - covering Alex with her own coat, refusing to engage in an awkward moment after. It was in that moment of release, that Alex felt the fog lifting, her sharp mind coming to and she knew what she would have to do to acquire justice for Sam and assuage her own guilt.

Olivia flexed her fingers slowly, unconsciously - she could scarcely wrap her mind around what had just happened. Her fingers burned as though they were still inside that welcome heat, and Olivia's cheeks burned as well…flushed with arousal and shame. She knew as soon as the ADA had exploded against her that she had to get out of there before she made anymore mistakes. She had wanted to ravage the younger woman, tear both of their cloths off and allow their mutual attraction to burn itself out inside an empty room, inside an empty building until they, themselves, were empty and spent. But, as in all things in her life, she simply gave what was needed and took nothing for herself. The image of Alexandra Cabot, flushed and moaning her name was a memory she would have to hold dear because she could not imagine having a second bite at such an apple. The ADA had too much political ambition, too much breeding, too much beauty to risk slumming in a same sex relationship with a detective within her own bureau.

She walked in silence back into the squad room, determined to finish her DD5's in time to go home so that she could wash away her admitted sin and at the same time bury herself in its memory. She felt the vibration of her cell and answered without looking at the caller ID, her heart stopped for a moment at the tired husky voice that greeted her.

"Detective, I need you and your partner to meet me at the Cavanaugh's to conduct a search for Roy Barnett's video collection."

Olivia nodded, and told the ADA they would be right there. She started to hang up but was stopped by that same voice dropping slightly.

"And Liv… after this case if over…"

Olivia interrupted, not wanting to broach the topic, "Its ok Alex… lets just get this kid some justice."

She hung up and went to find Elliot, eager to execute the search warrant, eager to put the sadistic asshole that Barnett was behind bars. They arrived to find Alex face to face in a verbal standoff with Linda Cavanaugh. She walked up to the younger woman and gently touched her arm, turning her so that her back was pressed to the door jam. She glanced down and saw, with a start, the small red mark at the base of Alex's throat - she had marked her earlier… she glanced at the rest of the exposed skin and saw small bite marks peppering the slender column of flesh. Shit. She looked up to see Alex's gaze focused on her lips and then their eyes met - an unspoken understanding passed between them. Olivia made sure that there were no restrictions to the search they were about to conduct, gave the blondes arm a small squeeze and entered the apartment; Elliot hot on her heels.

Elliot was silent as he rode with his partner on their way back to the station. They had found Barnett's videos and he, for one, was relieved that this case would soon be over. The ADA, the press, the victim's suicide had all taken so much out of everyone. He was still wondering on the little exchange he had witnessed in the doorway of the Cavanaugh apartment. He had seen the glances, he had seen the look Alex had given Olivia as well as the red marks on the attorney's neck. Olivia and he had never discussed their sex lives but by all indication she either had a thing going with their Ice Princess or she wanted a thing with the ADA. And it would appear the feeling was mutual. He grunted slightly and shook his head. He didn't need to dwell on anything, if something was going on he was certain Olivia would clue him in.

He was feeling pretty good about the end of the day when he and Liv strolled into the squad room, his mood broken as his captains voice rang out telling them to get into the office. Elliot growled slightly… what now.

Olivia felt utterly betrayed. How dare Alex throw them under the bus. She and Elliot had remained non-commental on the subject but Cragen had seen through their bullshit and ordered them to start covering their ass and forget the ADA's. Olivia felt like a fool. She had not even questioned the search, confident in the professionalism of her ADA, secure in the knowledge that the slender blonde cared for her…. She should have known from the events of the last 24 hours that Alex had lost all professionalism when it came to the case and now because of her own fucking infatuation Olivia had gone right along with the plan - jeopardizing both her and Elliot's reputations.

She crossed her arms and waited outside the courtroom to find out if the evidence she and Elliot had collected would hold up in court. The sight of Alex, rumbled suit, no make-up except for the base she must have used to cover the love bites Olivia had left all over her neck, was disarming and Olivia listened as Alex confirmed that the charges would hold and that Barnett would go to jail. She asked how the attorney was holding up - surprised when Alex apologized for involving them in her ploy - apologized and assured that the way she had handled it - that any heat would all fall back on her - assuring them that she had protected them and gotten justice for the victim the only way she had known how. Olivia shook her head.

"No, Alex… you're not sorry."

Olivia closed her eyes as she felt the attorney's hand on her arm - telling her that she was sorry she had involved them but that she wasn't sorry about the rest. She felt a slight squeeze and looked into clear blue eyes and knew Alex was not just talking about the case. Olivia felt that touch let go and watched as the attorney walked away to face her office and Liz Donnelly alone.

Alex walked briskly, the look on Olivia's face burned her conscious. She had taken so many risks in this case - she had risked her career, the reputation of her squad, she had thumbed her nose at the law, because of her a young man lay in a hospital bed, but the thing she regretted most out of all of those things - was ruining her relationship with Olivia Benson - and she positive that that would be the outcome after today. She had used the older woman, she had played on the desire she had seen lurking in those deep brown eyes and taken advantage of the situation so that she could forget her own guilt, so that she could clear her harried mind and produce the brilliantly executed legal strategy that had allowed her to bend the law and despite all odds put a sexual predator behind bars. If give the chance she would do it all again - but if given the chance she would have had Liv know that it wasn't just this case that had driven her into her arms - she would have been more verbose, more blatant about the way she felt, just so that she did not have to see the hurt, regret and confusion that had flashed across the detective face.

She thought about it as Roy Barnett was arraigned, she thought about it more as Liz Donnelly sentenced her to a 30 day suspension without pay and she thought about it on her way back to her uptown apartment and as she opened her first bottle of wine - Sam Cavanaugh would be someone who stayed on her mind… that much was certain, but Olivia would be a close second… and Alex hoped that while her guilt over Sam might never leave… she hoped the pain she had caused Olivia would eventually go away. Who knows… she had 30 days to try and make it right.

_A/N - I know… it's a bit of a cliff hanger but I am working on the second half of the story… or will it be a third… I shall see where my muse takes me. I hope you enjoyed reading as I have enjoyed writing. _


	2. Affirmation

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, they belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and whomever else has a stake in the game.

Warning: T level intimacy between two female characters.

A/N: This continues where "Guilt and Regrets left off – it delves into what exactly transpires during Alex's 30 days suspension. Hopefully I stayed true to the characters, though there is a fluff alert. Thank you for all the reviews – enjoy.

Affirmation

It had been five days. Five long and drawn out days. She had met with the three ADA's assigned to SVU in her absence and briefed them on the open cases, briefed them on the detectives they would be working with and briefed them on the importance of getting justice for the victim. She had endured the looks, the whispers that had followed her as she made her way through the building - tying up her loose ends, Liz Donnelly never too far behind her - watching, waiting it would seem, to see if she would fuck things up… again.

It had been five days. Five days since she had last seen her detectives, five days since she had last spoken to Olivia, five days since she had felt alive and wanted and in the arms of someone she cared about.

She had never been one to fall into bed with someone and had not been sexually active since taking her position in the DA's office. She had married herself to the job and until five days ago that had been enough. She had never felt this way about anyone - much less another woman, but the feelings that Olivia elicited in her would have happened had Olivia been a man or a woman - gender really wasn't the issue. They mirrored each other and yet always appeared to be in opposition. Her dedication to her career had been the end of all friendships and now, as she thumbed through her rolodex and the contacts in her phone, she realized that almost everyone she knew - she knew in passing, through networking. After all these years she had no close friends, nobody in her life that she could spend her forced time off with. Admitting that to herself, Alex realized she had always been a loner – and that had always been enough… until now.

She didn't know how many bottles of wine she had drank in the past five days and she didn't care. She didn't know how many more books she could read before she drove herself insane. She had twenty five more days to go and every night as she curled up alone in her bed, two images always came to mind before she closed her eyes. The face of a bewildered young boy and the need she had seen in the expressively warm brown eyes of the woman she felt she had betrayed.

The knock on her door startled her and Alex slowly stood from her seated position. She had not buzzed anyone up and she wasn't sure but she didn't think anyone knew where she lived… except…

She walked briskly to the door, and looked through the peephole, her heart pounding as she saw that it really was Olivia. She opened the door slowly, unsure of what to say and simply stared at the tall, lean form of the SVU detective.

Olivia slowly allowed her eyes to meet questioning blue ones and cleared her throat.

"Cragen and the guys were wondering how you were holding up and I was elected to come find out."

Olivia walked into the apartment, uninvited but uncaring and slowly walked a circle around the suspended lawyer. Like the night that she had come rushing into the hospital, Alex was in civilian clothes- this time faded tight jeans and a white tank top… her blonde hair piled on her head in a tight bun, dark glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Civilian clothes were just as attractive on her body as her power suits, Olivia surmised and swallowed slowly as her desire for the attorney once again crept into her veins. Alex in regular clothes… she looked good… really good; so good in fact that Olivia knew that this needed to be a short visit.

Alex watched the brunette as she circled her in an almost predator-like way. She felt a warm flush rising and felt the blush as it stained her cheeks. Slightly annoyed by the methodical observation in combination with the growing silence, Alex opted to speak.

"Do I appear to be holding up well enough detective? Have you seen enough to report back to your squad that I am indeed alive and well despite being bored out of my mind?"

She watched as the lovely brunette flashed a brilliant smile and had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. Alex observed Olivia as she turned her gaze away and walked deeper into the apartment, resting on the armrest of the couch as she turned and stared back, her voice was just as warm and smooth as Alex remembered.

"That's not the only reason I came over Alex, I figured you were about bored out of your mind by now."

Alex raised an eyebrow as she re-locked her door.

"And… what detective? You thought you would come over here and cheer me up… entertain me… rub it in that you are out there catching the bad guys while I am stuck here letting some rookie put them away. Real cute Olivia."

Olivia scowled slightly and shook her head, curious by the veiled attitude that had seeped through the attorney's smooth, cultured voice.

"No - though I see that time off hasn't improved your temper or that smart mouth of yours. I had the day off and thought you might want to get out of your apartment and go do something."

Alex was struck by the kindness of the gesture and then immediately she felt embarrassed by her earlier comment. She left the door and walked into the living room, mimicking the detectives pose by leaning on the armrest of a chair. She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind detective?"

Olivia rolled her eyes as she sat up slightly.

"Well first we can drop the titles… right now you're not a counselor and I am not a detective - well, at least I am not a detective who is on duty. In case we haven't met - Hi I'm Olivia Benson - and as far as what to do it depends on what you are interested in. On the way over here I realized that I know next to nothing about you - we only ever spent that one evening outside of work."

Alex felt her lips curving into a smile at the playful banter and found herself recalling the memory of that evening - letting it replay in her head before standing up and grabbing the polo shirt she had left lying out in case she had decided to leave the apartment. Pulling it on she reached over and grabbed her keys - looking back at the slightly bemused detective.

"You're right Olivia… I guess the first thing we need to do is remedy that."

Olivia blinked in surprise, her eyes following the ADA as she pulled on a light blue polo on over her tank top.

"Remedy what Alex?"

Alex rolled her eyes and leaned against the door.

"Keep up Liv… you said we didn't know anything about each other, so I am suggesting that we take a time out, grab a bite to eat get to know each other and see where it takes us."

Olivia closed her eyes, her trademark crooked smile flashed as she looked over at the relaxed form of her ADA.

"That sounds suspiciously like a date Alex?"

Alex shrugged and tilted her head towards the door.

"Call it whatever - take it or leave it detective because with or without you - I am going to get something to eat."

Olivia found herself laughing as she fell in step with the slightly taller woman.

"Ok, lets get something to eat and see where it takes us."

Olivia found herself seated outside a small bistro, enjoying a thick po-boy and the company of a much different Alex. They had continued their conversation from the night Olivia has stayed over and found that, despite their many differences they had several hobbies in common - they had read many of the same books, enjoyed similar tastes in music and liked many of the same movies. They both professed a liking for chess and had argued its merits for several minutes. They differed on the activates they enjoyed when they weren't feeling introverted. Olivia wasn't surprised to learn that Alex enjoyed playing golf - although admittedly she had not played since she had been in college. She also wasn't surprised to learn that the blonde enjoyed jogging in Central Park or that she had a standing weekly appointment for her local gym's yoga class. Olivia was temporarily distracted by the thought of Alex's lean taunt body bent and contorted. She felt the heat as it slowly crawled up the skin of her neck and looked away.

Alex had not missed the far away look in the expressive brown eyes she had grown attached to and felt the corners of her mouth turning upwards into a smirk as she immediately guessed at what sort of image had distracted the detective. Deciding to take it a step further, Alex leaned forward slightly and smiled.

"How about you come with me to my next class - it isn't hard to do and the stretching is great for your muscles."

Olivia paled at the suggestion. She would most definitely not be going anywhere that put her in viewing distance of some of her more obscure fantasies. She shook her head slightly.

"Oh no… yoga is not really my type of thing. I am more of a basic workout kinda girl… you know… running, weights, hitting the bag a few times. Elliot and I try to work out together at least once a week. Its good to know what each of us is capable of."

Alex took a moment and kept her face impassive as she took a small bite of her sandwich - her appetite put on hold as she allowed herself to get swept up into conversation. She had wondered at the closeness Olivia and Elliot shared and had heard rumors about the two of them - curious as to whether the rumors were true, Alex broached the subject lightly.

"You and Elliot are close. What's up with you two? I know he is married but it seems to me - and this is strictly an observation from the outside looking in- that you are closer than most partners. You are certainly a lot more in tune with one another than lets say… Munch and Fin - how long have you two been together?"

Alex found herself taken back at the rich laughter that burst from full lips and found herself smiling at the detectives amusement.

"What's so funny?"

Olivia shook her head as her laughter died down and took a small drink - amused by the direction their conversation had taken.

"Nothing. Why not just ask the question you really want to know Alex? Are Elliot and I more than friends… are we lovers… have we ever been more than just partners? I've heard the same rumors you have. The answer is no and will always be no. Elliot and I have been partners for four years and we just sort of clicked. He is like the brother I have never had, the best friend I always wanted and the lover that will never be. He is a great guy and I feel very fortunate to have him watching my back - we work well together."

Alex nodded slowly, feeling slightly jealous at the warm way Olivia had described her partner. She wondered how the detective spoke of her to other people and if she used that same warm tone. She slowly took another bite and turned to watch the oblivious crowd that beat its path down the sidewalk.

"He doesn't like me you know… nobody on the squad does really except maybe you… and Captain Cragen."

She looked back into the dark brown eyes across from her and stilled Olivia's protest with a raised hand.

"You don't have to defend them, I know they call me the "Ice Princess" behind my back… and its ok. I can be kind of cold… and I do have a prestigious last name… so I guess it fits."

Olivia watched as full glossy lips curved into a slow smile and her breath caught in her throat as the tip of the ADA's clever tongue ran over her lower lip. She looked away and took a deep breath, before turning back to face the lawyer.

"Alex?"

The blonde looked surprised by the hesitant tone and sensed a shift in the conversation.

"What is it Olivia?"

Olivia ran a nervous hand through her short hair, slightly perturbed as she felt her sort locks stand partially on end. She took another deep breath and looked into cerulean blue eyes - locking her gaze as she broached a subject she was sure would turn the entire afternoon awkward. She lowered her voice to just above a whisper and asked the question that had been bothering her.

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened between us during the Cavanaugh case?"

Alex paled and habitually looked around to ensure that nobody was paying attention to their conversation. She had dreaded being asked that question, and in the past hour she had convinced herself that Olivia was simply going to let it go. She should have known better than to try and fool herself - she had seen first hand the detective's dogged approach to uncovering the truth. She slowly closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of skin between her eyes. She wasn't sure how to answer the question - what could she say… she had been needy that night… she thought that getting off would help her get her mind back to wrap around the latest set back in the case… she had acted on feelings and desires that she had grown tired of fighting? She had no excuse for what she did. She had taken one look into those warm dark eyes and saw in them a desire and need that mirrored her own and so she had simply taken action, and she did not - could not - regret it.

Alex opened her eyes as she felt Olivia's warm grip on the hand that rested on the table.

"Its ok Alex… you don't have to answer that… it doesn't matter. We can just move on and forget it ever happened. It was a heat of the moment kind of thing, you weren't yourself and neither was I."

Alex felt her heart go out towards the beautiful woman across her, at the same time the kind words stung. So… had she been wrong? Had Olivia just gone along because of the person she was… because she cared enough about Alex to be something that she was not… to give something of herself while asking nothing in return. She bit her lower lip and frowned slightly as she pushed the issue, forcing the detective to clarify her words - her position.

"Is that really what you believe Olivia… that it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing… that neither of us were being ourselves?"

Olivia looked away as an unwanted heat flushed her cheeks. She wanted to lie but when she looked up into the intelligent blue gaze that seemed to stare right through her she knew she was lost. She forced the truth from her lips as she stood up from the table.

"No… but its easier to believe a lie than to admit that I wanted you too."

Alex felt her heart lift and stood up, reaching across the table she gripped the leather clad arm of the brunette.

"Wait… stop."

Olivia shrugged off the restricting grip and threw down enough money to cover their bill. She couldn't face this… she couldn't stand to be so near and yet so far away. She needed more time to adjust her emotions - to drown out the wonder she had felt when Alex had cum against her hand, drown out the desire currently pooling between her thighs, to forget that night and that case - and what she really needed was to forget this woman who sat so calmly across from her. Her thoughts were broken by a slender hand curving around her neck, tugging her forward and Olivia felt the familiar pair of soft lips against her own.

Alex had taken a chance, a big one considering their positions, considering their location, considering the price of rejection… she had taken a chance and pulled the tall brunette against her body, forcing their lips together - forcing her detective to choose the truth or the lie.

Olivia closed her eyes as she tasted the familiar flavor that had haunted her the past five days. She fell into the kiss, slowly allowing the blonde to slip between her lips, groaning softly as a slick clever tongue slid into her mouth, mingling and tangling with her own. A shrill whistle accompanied by a boisterous cheer to keep on going made them pull apart. She flushed and flipped the onlooker the finger, telling him to mind his own fucking business as Alex smirked and laughed lightly. Olivia turned at the sound of the laughter - something rarely heard, and felt her own bubble to the surface. Soon they were holding onto one another, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Olivia looked down at the blonde and felt her gaze soften, her voice a slightly husky whisper.

"Alex… lets get out of here."

Alex looked back, taking in the strong Mediterranean features - shuddering as the familiar beat of need pulsed through her veins and curled and coiled its way lower and lower. She licked her lips slowly, enjoying the dark gaze that watched her every move. She bit her lower lip suggestively and smiled.

"Where are you wanting us to go Olivia?"

Olivia smiled, "Anywhere - everywhere - nowhere."

Alex nodded, sensing the unspoken invitation.

"How nice of you to be so specific. I think, for the sake of both or our careers and reputations, we need to take this soirée behind closed doors."

For the third time in less than a week, Olivia found herself back in the stylish uptown apartment. She had taken a seat on the floor next to the couch - cautious of the growing sexual tension between her and the suspended ADA, and hesitant to push that tension by allowing them to remain thigh to thigh, hip to hip while they enjoyed more wine and more conversation.

Alex looked down at detective, amused by her obvious decision to put space between them while remaining close. She reached a hand over and brushed her fingertips through the short highlighted locks - smiling gently when she noticed the detective's posture stiffening and yet at the same time Olivia had leaned into her touch. The conversation between them had flowed steadily since their return from the bistro. Alex had learned part of what drove the detective's intense personality, and her heart went out to the older woman… she had been through so much, and yet… she had remained strong. It was inspiring in some ways - and when Olivia talked about her cases, the victims - the ones she had lost, the ones she had saved, Alex found herself saying a silent prayer of thanks for whatever reason the detective had chosen to be a part of SVU. She had no doubt that the squad and victims of New York City were better by far by the detective's precense.

Olivia felt those long slender fingers sliding through her hair once again and sighed as her body relaxed into the touch. She slowly turned her head and looked up into striking pale features, losing herself in the kind gaze that bore down on her. She felt those same fingers sliding down the side of her neck and onto her shoulder - the grip tightening as Alex pulled and prodded her until she was settled between long toned denim clad legs, her back resting against the couch. She felt that same grip slowly working itself into the tired, tight muscles of the back of her neck and shoulders. Olivia lulled her head forward as warmth spread from the ADA's touch. She felt something tighten and coil in her abdomen and closed her eyes. She could not remember the last time she's had someone rub her shoulders, that she'd had someone see and recognize the tension in her body and care enough to try and make it better.

Alex bit her lip slightly as a soft groan escaped the brunette's lips and she slowly dug her fingertips in deeper, slowly rubbing in alternating circles. She watched as the detective rolled her head again and Alex stifled a small gasp when Olivia rested her cheek against the inside of her thigh. She felt her body hum with arousal and felt the muscles tighten in her stomach, She watched with a hooded gaze as Olivia rubbed her cheek against her and stilled her hands as she felt a strong grip on one of her calves and leaned back against the couch - her body partially paralyzed by the strength of her desire for detective and her fear of pushing the issue. She opted instead to give the detective free reign - and waited to see what she would do.

Olivia missed the hands that had left her neck but found herself enthralled by the feel of slender muscles that covered the lean toned muscles of the attorneys legs - arguably one of her best features. Olivia ran had palm slowly from Alex's trim ankle slowly up and over the toned calve and then back down. She found her cheek against the ADA's inner thigh and nuzzled her cheek again, her voice a low, rough whisper.

"You are so soft Alex, so warm."

Alex paled as she felt soft lips against her skin.

"So smooth."

She stilled her shaking hands - waiting, wanting Olivia to continue. She was not disappointed and sighed softly when the detective sat up, turning as she got on her knees. Alex watched as the detective leaned forward, her chest resting between Alex's spread legs as she gently pressed their lips together. This kiss was different… it was slow, very slow as if the detective was taking the time to memorize the shape and feel of the lips against her own. Alex slowly slid her hands up, cradling the detectives face, her thumbs slowly rubbing the soft olive skin back and forth as she parted her lips, allowing the detective's smooth tongue to invade, tangle and taste.

Olivia closed her eyes and savored the feeling of Alex's body against her own, thinking that she could get used to this. She kept it slow, deliberately deepening their kiss leisurely as she took her time. She nipped, nibbled, dipped her tongue in teasingly before drawing it back out, groaning softly as Alex took her by surprise when she caught and wrapped her lips around the taunt muscle - sucking it back into her mouth. That one slow gentle suck caused Olivia to pull back slowly, the ache between her legs already too pronounced to ignore.

Alex moaned slightly at the loss of contact and looked into eyes so dark with desire that they appeared black in the dim lighting of her apartment. Her body screamed to be touched - yearned to be beneath the long muscular brunette's body again, to feel that talented patient mouth on other parts of her body, wanting to feel that soft firm grip on something besides her thighs. She leaned her head back and expelled the breath she had been holding.

"God Livia… you are driving me insane."

Olivia found herself smiling as a low chuckle escaped her lips at the ADA's visable frustration.

"So now its "Livia?"

Alex smiled and sat up, smirking as she pushed the detective back - laughing as the woman tipped off balance and fell back onto the floor. Alex quickly took the advantage and slid her body down, thighs straddling trim hips. She looked down at the surprised look on the brunettes face. She tossed her hair slightly and leaned down slowly.

"Well, I think it is going to stay Livia until I get the vowel to add to it. Since I am suspended I've got nothing but time on my hands - you should know by now that I am not a patient woman."

She felt strong hands running up her thighs and gently rolled her hips. Pressing down as those same fingertips dug into her waist. She bounced lightly, grinding down slowly, enjoying the naked desire on the detective's face. Alex found herself laughing in shocked delight as her detective flipped her over onto her back - talented hands and mouth pressing against her body again.

Olivia raised her head after another heated exchange, resting the weight of her body on her forearms as she stared down at Alex. For the first time in a long time she felt content, connected and whole. She found herself smiling as she brushed her knuckles across the high alabaster cheekbones, staring down into intense heated blue eyes. She found herself whispering softly as she stroked the smooth skin beneath her fingertips.

"I'd love to hear more about how to get the "O" back in my name, but its getting late Alex… I better go."

Alex licked her lips slowly, enjoying the residual taste of Olivia - enjoying the comfortable weight atop her. She didn't want the night to end. She would have liked nothing better than to take their games back to her bedroom and get lost in the mutual attraction that was growingly apparent. She shifted and slid her hands behind her head, smirking as the act tightened the shirt against her chest - smirking when she noticed the direction of the detective's gaze.

"Keep that up detective and I will have to insist that you stay."

Olivia started to answer when he cell phone began chirping from her jacket pocket. Groaning she got up and answered.

"Benson."

She listened as her partner informed her that they had a dead body in the East Village - a young woman, raped, tortured and mutilated. She sighed, she was glad she'd been able to spend this much time uninterrupted. She turned and saw Alex laying on her side, watching her closely. Olivia confirmed that she would be there ASAP and hung up, smiling apologetically.

"I'm sorry Alex… duty calls."

Alex felt her lips curve into a slight pout as she sat up. She knew her disappointment showed on her face but gave the tall brunette a sympathetic smile.

"Its ok Liv… I understand."

Olivia shrugged her leather coat on, touched when she felt Alex's hands smoothing the material across her shoulders. She turned and pulled the lawyer's slender body against her and rested her forehead against the younger woman', allowing herself a rare moment to lean on someone besides her partner. She slowly slid and pushed the white tank up over the slim hips in her hands, rubbing her fingers back and forth slowly - enjoying the soft sigh that escaped the full lips inches from her own. She dipped her head and briefly tasted those lips in a brief farewell. She pulled back and whispered softly.

"Can I call you tomorrow Alex."

Alex wrapped her arms slowly around the brunettes shoulders.

"I'd like that."

She leaned forward and nipped Olivia's lower lip, smiling.

"So… don't keep Elliot waiting… I'm not a patient woman but I can't hold a candle to that man… I will talk to you later detective."

Olivia nodded, noting how much easier personal relationships were when the person you were with already knew the expectations of the job she did. She opened the door, and with one last smile and a wink she disappeared into the night - her heart lightened for the first time in over a year.

Alex closed the door and exhaled slowly. Definitely not what she had anticipated, but definitely more than she felt she deserved. Her moment of weakness hadn't ruined her friendship with Olivia - in fact it spelled the start of something more, something Alex wasn't a hundred percent sure she was ready for, not with Liz breathing down her neck, not with the SVU under the microscope and not with her current political aspirations. Despite all the reason why she shouldn't pursue something more - Alex knew she was hooked. She had been alone too long and she was willing to reason that they could keep whatever it was that was growing between them a secret from the rest of the world.

For the first time in a long time, she slept without nightmares, she slept without waking in the middle of the night, she slept with a smile on her face… a tall brunette on her mind.


	3. Tease

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, they belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and whomever else has a stake in the game.

Warning: This rates between a T and a M as our two favorite characters resort to word games to push one another over the edge.

**Tease**

Olivia sighed raggedly as she ran her fingers through her short hair. She looked up to see her partner looking at her - watching her and she scowled at him slightly.

"Go home El. You're tired, I'm tired and I know for a fact that Kathy has called your cell at least two times."

She saw the scrutiny on her partners face and rolled her eyes at his willful stubbornness. She knew he worried about her - the hours she put in, the emotions she invested and they never really talked about it. They scratched the surface when it came to those deeper emotions but he knew her better than anyone and he knew when not to push. She watched as he took a deep breath and stood, stretching slightly - wincing as his back protested the action. She felt his hand on her shoulder as he walked by.

"Don't stay too long Liv… you need your sleep just as much as I."

Olivia felt her lips twisting into a smirk as she turned around and looked up.

"Oh, I don't think you will be sleeping much tonight El… its been how long… 2 weeks since you have made it home at a decent hour. Uh uh buddy, I bet Kathy is waiting up for you. Just try not to make kid number five this time."

Elliot laughed and grinned at his partner's brash prediction. He hoped she was right - it had been a while since he and his wife had enjoyed some alone time - and the last time he had gone home early they had gotten pregnant with the twins. He shook his head and made his way out to door calling out over his shoulder.

"It does a body good Liv, much better than milk… you should give it a try sometime. See ya partner."

Olivia watched as her Elliot exited the squad room and turned back to their reports. His light banter had held some barb - it had been ages since she had gone out on a date much less had sex… she just could never find the time and when she did have the time all she wanted to do was unwind and sleep to escape the onslaught of unwanted memories. Elliot was right - she did invest herself too much, but then again they all did in one way or another. She looked at the silver watch on her wrist - it was eight pm, if she was lucky she would be finished by ten and home by eleven and asleep by midnight. She briefly considered calling Alex but decided against it. They'd had several brief phone conversations over the last couple of days, each was fraught with light abandonment and heavy flirting. She found herself smiling at the memory but shook it off just as quickly - she had to concentrate on this case and thoughts of a certain fair-haired attorney would only distract and ensure that she would spend another long night tossing and turning under the internal debate of whether or not she was ready to take things to another level. She rubbed the back of her neck as she leaned back in the chair, pulling the current file into her lap - opting for the moment to read instead of write. Her concentration was broken by a familiar smooth honeyed voice.

"I never thought I would be jealous of a case file."

Olivia looked down at the file in her lap and then glanced around the squad room - cautious of being overheard. She wasn't surprised to find that they were alone. Smiling slowly at the unexpected but welcome intrusion, she looked up into the amused face of Alexandra Cabot. She licked her lips slowly and set the file back down on her desk. It had been several days since she had last seen the attorney - the case she and Elliot had caught the night she and Alex had last seen each other had escalated with three more victims, each one found more mutilated than the rest. It was the kind of case that gave her nightmares and kept her up at night - it was not the kind of case she wanted to share with anyone - especially the woman she was currently enamored with - even though that same woman, if given the chance, would have been in the thick of it had she not been on suspension.

Alex watched the detective as the smile left her eyes and Alex slowly pulled Elliot's chair over and sat facing the brunette. She reached over and lightly rested her hand on Olivia's knee, her voice dropping an octave as she leaned forward and brushed an unruly strand of hair away from the detective's face.

"Tough case?"

Olivia nodded, frozen for a moment as she tried not to lean into the warm touch. She didn't need to lose herself in something like this. She had to stay focused. She had to revisit the crime scenes, find the connection between victims… the perp was escalating and until they could find the common link - every woman in the city was fair game. Brown eyes met blue as Olivia shook her head, amused by the patience of the younger woman.

"Yeah… I guess its written all over my face huh?"

She paused sighed heavily.

"Alex… thank you for coming by but… I am still, tied up with this case… we are so close and this perp is escalating and…"

She found her sentence suspended by the slim finger that pressed against her lips. A finger that was quickly replaced by a set of warm lips. She closed her eyes and breathed into the kiss, relaxing as she ran her fingers slowly through the silky strands that has slipped over Alex's slim shoulders. This was a distraction she could easily get used to. Olivia suppressed a soft groan as she cupped the lawyer's cheek in one hand and stood to move closer - their thighs brushed together teasingly, their hips pressed invitingly and the brush of breast to breast left them both gasping into the kiss. Olivia licked her lips slowly as the ADA pulled back and shook her head slowly as she spoke - scarcely recognizing her own voice as she stared into an intoxicating blue gaze.

"How do you do that… how do you know exactly what I need when I need it?"

Alex smiled and slid her hands into the ever present leather jacket and pulled Olivia closer as she bent her head, nuzzling the smooth olive skin of the detectives neck. She breathed in the heady combination of the faint lingering spice of perfume, worn leather, and a scent she could only recognize and describe as pure New York. She nipped the exposed skin lightly, kissing the smooth flesh - enjoying the small groan that escaped the detectives lips. Alex kissed her way down to where the slender curve of Olivia's neck met her strong shoulder and bit down gently as she sucked slowly. The resulting moan that purred from the brunette caused Alex to pull back, her voice barely above a low whisper.

"Because its what I need, when I need it."

Alex pulled back and stared into a bottomless well swimming with heat and lust and need. She struggled to remember who she was and where they were. She bit her lip slowly and reached down to take the detective's hand. She raised it to her lips and brushed her lips against the smooth skin, taking a chance with her next sentence.

"I have to be honest here Olivia… I want you."

Hearing those words pour from Alex Cabot's mouth sent away all the doubt Olivia has felt and she struggled to retain some decorum considering they were standing in her squad room. She nodded slowly as nerves made her lick her lips.

"I can be honest too.. I want you Alex - but not here, not now. I have to get back to my case."

She felt an immediate pang of guilt at the disappointed shadow that crossed the pale blonde's features and sighed as turned the blonde around, wrapping her arms around the slender waist. Olivia pressed her lips against a smooth cheek and whispered softly as she rested her chin against the straight line of the ADA's shoulder.

"I don't want to rush this, I don't want this to be another quick make me forget, make me remember fucking - I want something more… just tell me you want that too Alex… tell me I am not the only one feeling this way, because if I am we can leave our attraction right here, and I can go on pretending that I don't care and we can re-settle into our debates and heated stares and walk away without knowing how good it could be between us."

Alex leaned back against the strong warm embrace and nodded slowly.

"I want the same Olivia - I never meant to allow my feelings for you to rise to the surface during the Cavanaugh case… I can't honestly explain what all was going through my head - I hadn't slept in days, my emotions were in turmoil and I could not accept that, after all that boy had been through he would forever be robbed of justice. Regardless of that, I am somewhat grateful for my weakness because had I not reached out and seized what I wanted at the time I find it highly unlikely you and I would be having this very conversation right now."

She turned and shared a slow smile with the brunette, nodding slightly.

"I know you are busy and so I will let you get back to work detective - call me when there is a break and when you have time to… revisit where we left off."

Olivia grinned and pressed her lips firmly and briefly against the ADA's

"Thank you for understanding Alex… I will make it up to you."

Alex nodded, smirking slightly.

"See that you do detective… and soon."

Alex slowly disengaged herself, amused that after spending only seconds in Olivia's arms she missed them enough to make her wish she was in that embrace again. Curious at what she was being passed up for, Alex grabbed one of the case file and sat opposite the brunette detective, cringing slightly at the gruesome crime scene photos… grateful that Olivia respected her enough not to stop her from digging.

Olivia watched the veiled disgust on the attorney's face and thought better of her instinctual urge to stop Alex from looking into the case files. It wouldn't hurt to have a fresh pair of eyes looking through the scenes. They settled into their respective positions and passed the time in silence, wordlessly making notes and trading files back and forth. Despite the lack of conversation or physical entanglement, Olivia felt closer to the attorney and as she studied the intelligent woman in front of her, she found herself wondering why this incredibly beautiful woman wanted her too.

Alex scowled slightly, unaware of her observer, and flipped through the DD5 located in the current file. This case was horrifying and she could understand Olivia's desperation to find some common thread. She had looked over the same files, processed the same data and she had come to no conclusions - except that whoever was responsible for the murders seemed to have almost an inside track on current forensics as well as an understanding of how crimes were logged and tracked in VICAP. It was unsettling. Each victim had been found almost in pieces - the mutilation was so great in fact that the police had yet to identify a single victim. She looked up, surprised to find herself under the careful scrutiny of the woman across from her. She smiled hesitantly.

"What is it?"

Alex watched as Olivia exhaled slowly barely catching the mumbled response.

"You are so beautiful Alex - what made you decide to do this?."

Alex blinked, surprised and touched by the compliment and curious as to what brought it on. She smiled slowly as she sat the case file down and re-crossed her legs.

"Do what? Look at gruesomely violent case files?"

Olivia felt her lips curl into a slow smile, shy for the first time in years as she looked away running her hand through her hair. She looked back and shook her head.

"No… what made you decide to become a lawyer?"

Alex sat down the file and re-crossed her long legs as she cupped her chin and thought about her answer. She had yet to divulge anything about her family and was suddenly loath to admit her privileged upbringing to this intriguing attractive woman across from her. Hoping she could keep her reasoning generalized Alex tried to adequately answer the brunettes question.

"Since I was a little girl I have always been fascinated by the concept of right and wrong. Rules fascinated me and I thought what better way to spend my life than to spend it in the pursuit of justice within the confines of the law - the ultimate rule book for our chaotic society. I can't say sex crimes was on my list of things to do - there is too much gray in these cases we work - too many mitigating factors blur the lines between perpetrator and victim and in the end justice is all too easily missed when weighed against the tax payers dollars and the publics outrage."

Olivia listened, smiling slightly. She could picture a serious blonde little girl and blinked the image away as she concentrated on the woman in front of her.

"So it's all about justice then?"

Alex thought about it and slowly nodded.

"As strange as it sounds… yeah… it really is all about justice for me. I think my greatest frustration is that the law - a lot of times - doesn't fit the crime. Take this case for instance - the person responsible for this, this… carnage wont be justly dealt with. The very worst the state of New York can do is stick a needle in him, but that doesn't make his crimes go away, that doesn't make it ok for the victim's families. Even though it is a life for a life, an eye for an eye… it doesn't make it just."

Alex looked down at the case files that scattered the desk and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry I am not more help - I can't find a common thread between any of the victims either… I guess I can only work my magic after you collar the suspect."

She flashed a small smile at the detective, concerned by the exhaustion in the older woman's gaze. Alex frowned slightly.

"How long has it been since you have slept Olivia?"

Olivia blinked and shrugged.

"I caught a few hours in the crib last night - but don't worry about me Alex… this is what I do when I catch a big case… I run on caffeine and adrenaline until we catch the son of a bitch and once El and I place him in your capable hands - I disappear for a few days to crash and catch back up… believe me… I will be ok."

Alex wanted to press the issue, convince the detective to go lie down - or better yet to come home with her and lie down. She really had missed this woman over the past few days. She buried her concern and slight jealousy and stood up, surprised when Olivia stood with her.

Olivia stepped forward and silently assisted the striking blonde with her long coat, her hands shaking slightly as Olivia fought the irrational need to hear those soft sighs and re-taste those soft lips one more times before she resigned herself back to working the case. As if reading her mind, Olivia felt soft insistent lips against hers, smiling as the blonde whispered against them.

"I am going to have to find a better way of controlling myself around you in the squad room - especially if we are going to continue working together. I just cant seem to keep my hands to myself when you are around Olivia."

Olivia grinned and pulled the lawyer close.

"We both are going to have to find some level of decorum, but I think things will be easier once some of this frustration is released."

Alex chuckled and looked into the warm gaze that was currently leveled on her own.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow Olivia?"

Olivia leaned forward nipping at the soft skin of her ADA's throat, her voice slightly raspy as she growled the first part of her sentence.

"I DO want to take things slow… I want to slowly kiss you, slowly peel the clothes from your body, slowly let my hands trace those hidden curves and slowly re-acquaint myself with the way you feel inside and if I am lucky…"

She paused long enough to slide the tip of her tongue up, swirling it around the small diamond that accented the delicate lobe of the lawyer's left ear, her voice dropping an octave as she sensually sucked the lobe into her mouth, tugging gently as she pulled back to finish her sentence.

"… if I am very lucky, you will let me slowly taste every inch of that perfect body of yours. That is what I meant by slow counselor."

Alex felt her mouth drop open, her mind reeling as her temperature rose - a slow steady ache forming between her legs. She was still standing and shaking in silent need when the tall brunette dropped back in her chair. She watched as the older woman picked up a case file and bid her farewell. Feeling dismissed and outplayed Alex walked behind the detective in an attempt to regain some of her previous control. She slid her fingertips through the dark locks that were currently bent over the case and leaned down - letting her hot breath wash over the detectives ear.

"Well then detective - I will let you get back to work… just know that I will make sure I keep things "slow" when I think of you tonight."

Olivia felt her breath hitch in her throat and turned to see the tall blonde walking out of the squad room. She ran an errant hand through her mused hair and sighed in frustration as erotic images of a familiar blonde moaning her name as she ran her own hands over her long taunt body. Olivia shuddered and tried to kill the thoughts. Maybe it was her lust glazed eyes or maybe sleep deprivation had finally gotten to her but when she looked back down at the desk she noticed something she had not seen before. Excitement crept through her veins as she stood and switched positions - no she wasn't imagining it - when lined up the victims fit together - it was almost like a puzzle. It was the damndest thing she had ever seen but it was the only tangible connection she had found that connected the mangled bodies.

Puzzles… magazines… subscriptions…

Olivia found herself wide awake as the idea came to life. She may have stumbled on exactly how their perp was selecting his victims… but weariness crept back in as she realized that without any positive ID on the bodies finding exactly which subscription the females had in common would take weeks… maybe months and even then they still might not have their answer. She sighed in frustration… they really might just have to wait out for another body in hopes that their killer had made a mistake. She felt a slight vibration against her thigh and dug out her cell phone barking her last name into the receiver.

"Benson."

The voice that purred on the other end of the line almost made her drop her cell onto the desk.

"Thinking of me detective?"

Olivia felt her mouth go dry, intrigued and turned on by the ADA's persistence and found herself smiling as she decided to play along - wanting to see just where Alex planned on taking this.

"Actually… no, I think I caught a break with this case… albeit minor, but one positive ID of any of my victims will be the break we need. I was actually just about to straighten things up and head out for the night."

Alex recognized the opportunity to make her case and pushed forward with the intention on making an offer the detective couldn't refuse.

"Any place in particular?"

Olivia could hear the sex laced beneath the ADA's smooth resonant voice and kept her voice neutral.

"Well I was thinking that if I wanted sleep I would head back to my apartment and crawl into a clean cold bed and let exhaustion take me to a dreamless and lonely existence."

The blonde raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"And if you didn't want sleep?"

Olivia refused to play along - choosing instead to tease the blonde with the same thoughts she had left her with hours earlier.

"If I didn't want any sleep then I would stay here, hide away in the crib and pretend that its your hands that are rubbing over my body instead of my own."

Alex dropped her phone in shock and felt her face redden as she heard Olivia's rich laughter echoing on the other end. She immediately felt indignant and scowled at the portable electronic in her head.

"Not funny Olivia."

The brunette, still chuckling softly from her little joke shook her head.

"When you eluded to that earlier - my thoughts exactly Alex."

Alex huffed slightly and felt her lips curving into a childish pout.

"So, what you are saying is that you would rather touch yourself then allow me the pleasure?"

Olivia found herself leaned back in her desk chair, feet propped up on the desk, smiling like a teenager on the phone with her first crush - thoroughly enjoying the playful sexual banter. She carefully lowered her voice - whispering softly with the intent to arouse.

"If you are going to put something in my mouth counselor, I would prefer something more substantial than mere words."

She slowly bit her lower lip, sucking it into her mouth before letting it go with an faint pop - she heard the hitch in breath against her ear and grinned.

"So, what are you wearing right now?"

Alex found herself laughing as she leaned back against her headboard. She hadn't been asked that question in years - since a risqué night in college when she had attempted to provide phone sex as a part of a dare. The experiment had ended in failure - partially due to the embarrassment she had felt in trying to describe acts she was not interested in at the time. She had ended up laughing at the whimpered pleas for release that had continually sprang from the fourth year law student she was hell bent on teasing. The whole experience had been rather pathetic and she was glad she had not ran into the young man after that night - she had been mortified he would guess it had been her on the other line. But here, at this moment, she was more than willing to describe the acts she was interested in and was more than eager to hear this woman's whimpered pleas for release. She swallowed as she brought her nervousness and laughter under control, her hand lightly tapping against her toned stomach. She wasn't really dressed for seduction but slid down the bed and purred softly, her voice barely a whisper as she answered the teasing inquiry,

"I shouldn't tell you this - seeing that you are supposed to be hard at work… but since you asked so nicely… lets just say… I am wearing… something you have never seen and something I bet you would rather see in person."

Olivia felt her eyebrow raise slightly. The breathless tone doing more for her level of arousal than the teasing words. She let a bit of aggression creep into her voice as she commanded an answer.

"Tell me."

Alex slid her hand slowly down the middle of her stomach, her fingertips playing with the waistband of black bikini briefs she had on - her voice softly husky.

"Tight black tank, and black panties detective."

Olivia jerked slightly, her mouth falling open slightly as she pictured the described outfit covering smooth pale skin. She could almost picture the blonde lying on the large bed in her apartment in such an outfit and the image was enough to make her re-cross her legs, squeezing them together in an attempt to provide some friction against the part of her body that ached the most. Her voice was rough as she inquired further.

"Details counselor - briefs or thong? Hair up or down? Glasses on or off? On top of the sheets or beneath?"

Alex felt her lips curve in a seductive grin. Ever the detective.

"Details are going to cost you detective - what am I going to get out of this?"

Olivia licked her lips slowly and whispered huskily.

"Whatever you want counselor… but if you play nice you will get it a lot sooner than if you play games… stop stalling gorgeous and divulge."

Alex released the breath she had been holding, she swallowed hard - wanting the brunette on the other line more than ever. She slid her hand up through her hair as she tipped her head back, her eyes closing as she sought to paint a picture even a seasoned sex crimes detective couldn't refuse.

"Okay… but when I am done, don't forget you asked for it Benson."

She paused and smiled slowly.

"I am laying in my apartment, in a bed we have never shared - on top of sheets you have never seen. One hand tangled in my hair, which is loose and scattered over my pillow. This tank top is tight and the cool air in combination with your sexy voice has invoked a response that is very easy to ascertain through its thin fabric. It has ridden up slightly and the other hand not in my hair is resting against my bared skin. One of my knees is bent upwards and the panties I am wearing are bikini briefs. That response I mentioned earlier that you had invoked… well it wasn't limited to one spot… although since the fabric down there is black I doubt you could easily ascertain just what that response is by merely looking… which means you would need to conduct a more… hands on investigation."

Olivia was entranced. If she hadn't already been under the ADA's spell before she was definitely under it now. The scene she was describing was visually stimulating and achingly erotic - something out of one of Olivia's more vivid wet dreams and she was surprised to find her free hand tracing the fabric stretched over her inner thigh. She breathed slowly - Jesus Alex - and leaned forward, resting against the top of her desk - her next words were spoken with all the wonder the younger woman inspired in her.

"Investigate it for me Alex."

Alex moaned softly as her hand slid lower.

"Too late detective, I've already started."

Olivia felt a part of her melt at the sound of the melodious sigh and fought the urge to investigate her own response. She struggled to keep her voice steady and her hands still as she spoke her next request.

"And… what have you discovered?"

Alex slowly cupped her aching sex, startled to feel the wetness that had pooled there from nothing more than a sexy voice. She slowly slid a single digit between her folds, lightly brushing the sensitive bundle of nerves back and forth as she teased her lusting body.

"I am so wet… and its all for you Liv… don't keep making me wait…"

Alex groaned softly as she deftly slid the teasing finger deep into her heat.

"I need this to be you, I need this to be you now."

Olivia stood on shaky legs and searched around for her jacket and keys - she was short, clipped in her next response and hoped she was ok to drive.

"Give me fifteen minutes and I am there honey."

She hung up - there was no way she would be able to drive if she continued to listen to Alex fucking herself. What the hell had she gotten herself into? She left the case files scattered and hurried out the door to something a lot more beautiful - something she had waited too long to discover and something she desperately needed to explore.

She switched the city supplied ride into drive and barreled into the cold New York night towards the woman she was steadily falling in love with.

_A/N - Once again a thank you for all of you who have put me on alert and a thank you for the reviews. I know I left it at a tease, but hey - I've got to give you all something to look forward to._


	4. Looking Forward

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, they belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and whomever else has a stake in the game.

Warning: This rates an M and contains descriptive sex acts based in fiction between two female characters.

**Looking Forward**

Alex closed her eyes and let her hand fall to the side - her cell slipping through her fingers to fall against the mattress. Fifteen minutes her ass - it would take longer than that to get to this apartment - especially at this time of night. She let loose a shuddering sigh as she sat up, regretfully slipping her hand away from the damp heat that begged her attention - if she didn't do something to distract herself she was going to keep probing, touching - imaging that it was Liv and lose control before the real thing presented itself. Not that she couldn't bounce back - but she wanted to be fair, after all she was already one up on the detective in that category.

She swung her long legs over the side of the bed and stood. She toyed with the idea of lighting candles, and what music to put on - she had more than ample time to set up a scene of seduction but seduction wasn't what she wanted tonight. She didn't want romance, she didn't want it gentle - she wanted to feel all the rough fiery passion that continually teetered on the edge of their every conversation to spill over into this night. She wanted to feel insistent hands on her body, sharp teeth against her skin and the hot breathless moans of a certain NYC detective echo throughout her apartment. Tonight moonlight would have to serve as a primary light source and their mutual sounds of pleasure the symphonic background music.

The thought made her smile slowly as she shut off the lights - she thought to leave her door unlocked but decided that was a little too desperate, not to mention slightly dangerous. She slowly sat back down on the bed - with nothing better to do she might as well keep her body primed and ready for what she hoped to be a rushed assault.

Olivia cursed the string of slow drivers and once again contemplated turning on the siren and flashing lights to reach her destination. She licked her lips slowly as her mind fogged in memory of her earlier conversation - the breathless pants, the erotic scene painted by sexual banter and just the image of Alex touching herself was enough to cause her thighs to shudder and more residual lust to coat her already soaked panties. She knew the admittance of her desire would be like opening a floodgate - seemingly just as literal as the term was figurative.

Her mind swam with what would be her next move. She knew tonight would not be gentle - there were too many previously pent up emotions and needs that needed to be dealt with before any physical interaction between the two of them could and should be dubbed as "gentle". She groaned as she imagined wrapping her hand in fair silken hair and marking that taunt body - effectively erasing any delusions of a strictly professional relationship. She still wasn't completely sold on exactly how good of an idea this was to allow this attraction to run its course but it was too late for regrets. She had take the first step down this path when she had allowed herself to taste previously imagined lips and she had committed herself to the course the moment her fingers had slid past a silken panty line and into slick searing heat.

She moaned subconsciously at the memory, remembering how she had almost dove into a cold shower the moment she had returned to her apartment - embarrassed, shocked and inordinately pleased with herself, although she was loath to admit it. She looked at her watch, her fifteen minutes had just elapsed and she was still almost 16 blocks from Alex's apartment. She started to call but then thought otherwise - an idea forming in her mind as a way to bank on the element of surprise.

Alex licked her lips slowly, her bra lay strewn across her stomach as her knowing fingers brushed, tweaked and teased her nipples - she twisted one, yanking it slowly and then releasing with a final tug - the resulting pleasure pulsated achingly as her body clenched tightly on the single digit currently piercing her warmth.

She ran her fingers through her long hair, her body arching as she pressed deeply - Olivia's name a whispered breathless mantra that steadily escaped her parted lips. Her inner thighs shook slightly as her eyes closed, her hips moving an undulating motion. She growled in frustration and removed her hands away from her body for the third time. Liv was at least ten minutes late and the climax that Alex was playing and pushing at was becoming harder and harder to ignore - it was becoming harder to stop and pull her hands away. She moved her hand slowly - blindly searching for her discarded cell. Surely traffic couldn't have been this bad. She dialed the familiar number - freezing as she heard the buzz of vibration from the darkest corner of her bedroom. Eyes widened, heart pounding in a mixture of fear and disbelief as a low sexy voice spoke softly from the corner…

"Enjoying yourself Cabot?"

Alex watched as Olivia Benson stepped from the corner - a dark aparating object of her desire. How… when… questions blurred and ran through her head and died on parted lips as she watched the detective approach her bed, leaning down - her hands flat against the mattress, her knees following suit as she crawled closer - her dark eyes burning her body with its predatory gaze.

In answer to the unspoken question in the ADA's eyes, Olivia raised her police issued lock pick kit and threw it in the corner before crawling closer, her hand pressing on the side of a slender naked hip, her denim covered thigh pressing between the spread pair on the bed as she leaned over the stunned attorney, hovering but keeping their bodies separate for the most part. She smiled crookedly and trailed her free hand slowly up a creamy thigh, past the jutting hip bone, up a slender curved waist and reached for the hand that had, only moments before been buried in the places she was most anxious to explore. She looked into the still wide blue eyes, appreciating the way her unexpected interruption had sent the blonde's chest heaving as she lifted the attorney's hand to her lips slowly pulling the long index finger in between her lips - purring slightly as her senses registered the clean taste that could only be Alex.

Alex groaned as she felt her finger encased in Olivia's warm mouth - the detectives resulting purr igniting the desire that had previously been stalled by the shock of finding Olivia in her apartment. Alex was still trying to settle her mind around the obvious evidence that she had been just a little bit too into herself to take in the rest of her surroundings. Not that it mattered… Olivia was here, with her, in her bed and Alex could have given a damn at the moment to know the details.

Aggression rose within her as the need to feel this woman - flesh to flesh - shifted to her fist priority. She jerked her finger away and replaced it with her lips as she entangled the brunette in a bruising kiss - her hands swiftly jerking away at the barriers between them. Tongues battled, sparred dueling for control, lips pressed, backed away for breath and then resumed their attack, teeth scraped and hands tangled as Olivia moved to help divest her clothing. Alex heard the dull sound of something ripping but didn't give a damn. She groaned loudly, in tune and time with her detective as her delicate hands found and help the heavy weight of full breasts as they filled her palms. She squeezed roughly and tore her mouth away to suck on something other than Olivia's tongue.

Olivia sought to help only to have her hands knocked away, her head fell back as soft lips surrounded a single peak, tugging hard. She gasped as the tug came again and felt even teeth nipping against the side of her breasts before beginning a slow descent. She watched long hair trailing down her abdomen and watched the flash of white teeth as they gripped the waistband of her jeans before dropping lower. She felt those same teeth sinking into her inner thigh, and gasped when Alex nipped at the apex of her thighs. She sat up and grunted in frustration as her shoulders were forced back against the mattress.

Alex jerked the tight denim down - seeking to touch and taste simultaneously, seeking to please, seeking to even the score. Her own body was screaming for release but she was determined to hold it off till she gave Liv hers. She knew the brunette would argue and say it didn't matter… but it did…it mattered a lot, she needed to show Liv that her desire was more than reciprocated.

She almost laughed at the groan and leaned forward to whisper against the detectives parted lips, her hands sliding silkily along toned thighs, over soft skin and wet folds.

"Stop fighting it Benson… lay back and like it already…."

She pressed a searing kiss against those same lips, tangling her tongue slowly, lazily intertwining with the detective's, swallowing the harsh gasp as she smoothly pushed two fingers deeply into burning depths. Deftly she twisted her fingers, rotating as she plundered - patience exceeded she broke their kiss in favor for a trip south. She trailed her lips down, brushing back and forth across olive skin. She dragged her teeth in places, applied suction to others, her fingers moving quickly below, her thumb rubbing sporadically against the hardened bundle of nerves nestled in dampened flesh

Olivia felt as though she was drowning in sensation. She didn't know whether to focus more on the movements above or below the belt… both were causing fireworks to go off in her head. Slid her hand, wrapping it in blonde locks as she tugged Alex's head up from her chest, their lips molding together as she felt lean taunt thighs wrapping around one of her own, rubbing grinding coating her skin with evidentiary desire. She shuddered as she felt slender fingers slipping deeper and fell back against the cool satin sheets - giving in finally to the sure thrusts - her desire had been building since their conversation back at the precinct and she had almost cum watching the sensual blonde pleasure herself for her dark corner - she couldn't fight it anymore and gave herself over with abandonment.

Alex stilled the jerking movements of her own body as she selfishly sought her own release against the muscled thigh tucked between her legs. She took in the intoxicating sight of Olivia Benson's arched body - full breasts offered to the sky as she rolled her hips, undulating against the deliberate penetration she was being subjected to. Alex slowed her movements and sat up slightly to watch the erotic sight of her own fingers disappearing into the pliant body beneath her. She looked at the flush that was creeping upwards, masked partially by the smooth olive tone of Olivia's flawless skin - her fingers moving in and out, slowly - pushing deep and hard before dragging back out of the heated flesh as she lowered her mouth to taste and take the woman beneath her over the edge.

She listened to the litany of profanity, encouragement and instruction as it tumbled from the bruised full lips that remained permanently parted to allow the escape of breathless pants and aching moans. Alex slowly pressed her mouth above her fingers, sliding her tongue along the parted crease - moaning at the taste before focusing her attention on the button of flesh that would make or break Olivia's release. She wrapped her tongue around the bundled nerves before scraping the sensitive area with her teeth. Her lips closing over the excited flesh in a slow suck that elicited a loud cry from above.

Olivia felt the sensory overload as warmth curled in her belly, her muscles tightening as the tension in her body multiplied tenfold, her hips arched upwards only to be pressed firmly back against the mattress as the combination of sucks and thrusts threatened to break her. She tangled her fingers in silky hair and wordlessly asked for more, her ability to speak abandoned - her mouth stubbornly refusing to form anything distinguishable. She gasped as the fingers inside her moved harder, dug deeper exciting the first tremors of a mind blowing orgasm.

Alex felt the tightening around her fingers, the pull and release of muscles and tightened her mouth, her tongue tapping the sensitive nub once… twice - the sheer volume of the scream that bounced off the walls of her bedroom providing final confirmation of the peak of pleasure and Alex resumed her own grinding… seeking and finding her own release seconds later.

Olivia heard a familiar gasp and felt the wetness against her thigh, confirmation that her pleasure had pleased her partner enough to send her over the edge. She felt a welcome weight against her chest and felt her body turned slightly as slender arms worked their way around her waist. She welcomed the soft lips that pressed against her own and groaned slightly when she tasted herself on them. Surreal indeed… the pleasurable haze that surrounded them seemed dreamlike and Olivia opened her eyes to see the smile in the blue pair that stared back at her.

Alex looked at the wondrous expression and found herself laughing lightly as she turned and pulled Olivia behind her, asking without asking to be held. She felt strong arms encircling her and shuddered slightly as warm whispered breath caressed her ear.

"That was… amazing… I've never… you were… "

Alex turned her head and pressed her lips against Olivia's - the languid kiss slowly re-kindling their desire and this time Alex found herself pressed back against satin sheets a dark head between her spread thighs as she achieved one mind numbing orgasm after another - Olivia playing her body, bending it to her will. After the third she had found herself tucked back into the strong embrace - feeling completely relaxed and loved even though the words had yet to pass between them. She lay there in silence, listening to her lover's steady breathing before allowing sleep to overtake her decidedly relaxed body.

She awoke to bright streams of sunlight as it poured through the large windows in her bedroom. She silently cursed her forgetfulness in ensuring the blinds were closed and flushed with the realization that she and Olivia could have been seen by the tenants in the neighboring building. Alex found herself smiling as she snuggled closer to the warm body that pressed against her own… well if they had watched she was sure they had enjoyed one hell of a show. She turned to find herself the subject of a lazy brown eyed stare and enjoyed the huskiness in Olivia's voice as she wished her a good morning. She returned the greeting and pulled the order woman closer, ignoring the protests before planting a slow kiss against full lips.

Olivia felt her eyes flutter close as Alex slowly deepened the kiss, and let the blonde dominate her mouth as desire began to creep back into her veins. She opened one eye and jerked away when she saw what time it was.

"Oh shit… I am so late Alex."

She made a move to escape the bed and the blonde in it only to be pulled closer, held tighter as the woman in her arms shook her head.

"Its Saturday Livia - you don't have to be in that early - stay in bed with me… your case can wait a day or two… or, how many days are left of my suspension - eighteen… yeah detective your case can wait at least that long."

Olivia found herself smiling at the pet name and the selfish request and cleared her throat,

"Um… after last night I think I have more than earned the "O" in Olivia… so none of this half name shit counselor… and you can't call me Liv either… that is a name reserved only for close friends."

Alex found herself smiling at the playful banter and pouted slightly - feigning hurt.

"So am I not a close friend? I mean… how much closer can we get Olivia?"

Olivia leaned forward shifting her thigh slightly to part the ADA's knees.

"Oh I can think of a few ways we can get closer counselor."

Alex moaned lightly and spread her legs a little wider.

"I think I get the idea detective, but before we examine those dirty thoughts of yours I think we need to agree on a compromise. If I can't call you Livia or Liv… then what else can I call out when I… well… you know. Olivia has too many syllables to work with when one's verbal prowess is rendered useless by incredible sex."

Olivia found herself laughing at the argument and shook her head as she kissed the beautiful blonde softly.

"Well… I suppose "Liv" can work… of course last night I was being called all kinds of names so I am sure you can come up with something… aren't you some kind of legal genius… use your head counselor."

Alex smirked and nuzzled the brunettes neck, tipping her head up to allow her access to the sensitive pulse point she was currently teasing with her tongue.

"I plan to Olivia… or at least certain parts of it."

Olivia laughed and wrapped her hand in the shoulder length blonde hair, yanking Alex's mouth against hers, groaning as her cell phone began to ring. She pulled and grabbed the offending device, flipping it open she barked her last name.

Elliot jerked back from the phone at the bite in his partners voice.

"Whoa.. What's got you all twisted Liv? Cragen just called and apparently Munch and Fin have caught a break on our case… we are needed at the station pronto."

He heard the soft groan of disappointment and thought he heard the voice of someone else in the background. He felt a huge grin stretch across his face… Olivia had company. Never turning down the opportunity to tease the beautiful woman he chuckled.

"Well well… guess I better take a little time before I come up and retrieve you - wouldn't want any naked images of your floating around in my head."

He laughed when she told him to fuck off and informed him that he was wasting his time because she wasn't at home.

"Where are ya, I will come pick you up? Riding with me will save you a lot of time not to mention a buck or two, something you should consider since the hotel probably charged you a pretty penny."

Olivia felt her mouth drop as she unsuccessfully moved away from Alex's talented mouth, a mouth that was currently working its way lower and lower on her body. She hissed quietly for the blonde to stop and was rewarded by a feral grin before the ADA dragged her tongue lower to pay hedonistic attention to the flat planes of her navel. She took a shuddering breath, desperate to keep her partner from knowing what was going on. She focused on his veiled insult concerning a hotel room - as if.

"Are you trying to piss me off Stabler? For your information I was an overnight guest in a posh upper east side pad… and no I am not giving you the address. Just go to the station and I will meet you there in an hour."

Elliot smirked and rolled his eyes as he tried to ignore the hitch in his partners breath and the growing huskiness in her voice.

"Well… judging by the background noise, unless you are shacked up with a minute man I wont expect to see you till later. Try to hurry things along though, I'm glad you're finally getting some Benson but I would appreciate it not being on my time."

He heard her husky laughter telling him she would remember that the next time a case interrupted him and Kathy. He shrugged and hung up, his day significantly lighter. His traitorous mind doing a number on his hormonal levels - whoever she was with was a very lucky guy.

Olivia hung up the phone as her body was being pushed back and moaned aloud as Alex's fingers teased at the growing wetness between her legs.

"Jesus Alex… don't tease… either fuck me or let me up."

Alex smirked and purred softly.

"You certainly have a way with words detective."

She leaned lower and gave the brunette a teasing lick before sitting up. She saw the confusion and disappointment on the detective's expressive face and laughed lightly before leaning forward kissing the pouting lips.

"I will save that thought for later. I don't want to make you late Liv… the sooner you solve this case the sooner I can have you all to myself - and I fully expect you to take some time off after this case if over… I need to get enough of you if I am going to have any hope of regaining my sanity when I have to be around you at work."

Olivia groaned and sat up.

"Fine, fine, fine… you have yourself a deal counselor. Case first, you later."

Alex caught the detective before she could disappear form the bedroom and smiled as she planted a kiss on the warm open palm.

"Mmmm, go get em Benson."

Olivia rolled her eyes as the blonde began to laugh and quickly made her way to the shower, her body still humming from the teasing ministrations the ADA had performed while she had been talking to Elliot. She caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror and sighed… well… since Elliot already knew she'd had company last night she supposed the bite marks on her neck could be explained away. Still… she hoped make-up would hide them.

Elliot looked up, surprised to see his partner arriving not only on time but with an armful of coffee and several items to provide a sugary breakfast. He called out jovially.

"So, guess your date was a minute man."

Olivia smirked and sat breakfast down on the table as she leaned over and leveled her gaze at the smiling man across from her.

"So not true, just considerate enough not to make me late for work - besides after last night's marathon a break might be a good thing."

She watched her partner's eyebrow raise and knew where his thoughts were headed. She rolled her eyes and sat down in her chair.

"Not a word Elliot. Now what is this lead I got dragged out of bed for?

He started to push the issue but decided he would glean more information by careful observation as opposed to obstinate questioning. Not that it was any of his business but, hey… he was a married guy - the only way to live these days was vicariously. Deciding to get down to business, he leaned over and grabbed one of the cups of coffee and a donut and proceeded to go through the information Munch and Fin had uncovered.

Olivia listened as her theory from last night materialized. She was pleased by her own detective skills and impressed that the wonder twins had reached the same conclusion. Elliot had a report from the ME and they had two leads on a possible ID on victim three. It was shaping up to be a very productive day.

Alex tapped her foot restlessly as she surfed through the daytime channels. God she hated this - the waiting, the boredom. She missed Olivia, missed her smile, her touch - just thinking about the tall brunette made her smile. She had reached for her cell twice now only to stop herself with the warning not to be too clingy. She had called the DA's office, disobeying a direct order from Liz Donnelly, to check on her open cases - knowing the tough talking former judge would forgive her eventually. She had even placed a call to Cragen to fill in the blanks the lesser ADAs were unable to recall to her satisfaction. She almost slipped and asked what Olivia was doing but caught herself in just enough time to hang up and bury her face in her hands - admitting that she had it really bad. Groaning she laid back and folded her hands behind her head - letting boredom lull her to sleep while her mind played out her memories of last night with a certain dark haired detective.

She awoke, panting slightly as she remembered her dream and looked at the clock; smiled to see it was almost 4 pm. She picked up her cell phone, noting the missed call from Olivia and decided enough time had passed for her to return the gesture. She was surprised when the detective answered after the first ring.

"Benson."

Alex let her voice drop and huskily whispered, "You've been invading my dreams all day detective, its time to come home and make them come true."

Olivia smiled slowly, the low voice causing a warm feeling to unfurl within her as she laughed lightly, amused by the ADA's pick up line.

"That's a new one."

Alex smiled lazily.

"Did it work, have you gotten in a cab yet?"

Olivia felt her smile slipping into a grin and shook her head no, ignoring the amused and interested look her partner shot her.

"No… I can't leave yet. We are making lots of progress - we may have even ID'd one of the victims."

Alex sighed in amusement.

"Hmmm… well if you come home now I'm betting you can make just as much if not more progress with a much healthier subject."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I don't know that you are that healthy… come to think of it I should have you checked out… after all I don't know where you've been."

Alex felt her mouth drop at the teasing insult.

"Olivia!"

She heard the low chuckle on the other end of the phone and scowled slightly.

"Very funny - according to the rumor mill you are the one that needs to be checked out Benson, I have heard about your infamous one night stands."

Olivia laughed, thoroughly enjoying the conversation. She looked over at Elliot fluttering his eyelashes and making kissing noises. She shook her head at the immature display and turned in her chair, lowering her voice.

"Counselor you can check me out as thoroughly as you want as soon as I get off, but until then no more teasing… I am still suffering from your little performance this morning."

Alex purred softly, letting a soft moan echo into the phone's receiver - enjoying the slight hitch in the attractive woman's breath on the other end.

"Which performance would that be detective? The one where I was on top or the one where you pinned me to my bedroom wall?"

Olivia too a deep breath and slowly released it, flushing with the memories the husky alto invoked.

"Both of those were award winning but I am referring more to your impossible tease while I was talking to Elliot… that… has had me on edge all day. You really shouldn't start something you have no intention of finishing."

The blonde chuckled and whispered softly into the phone - knowing that she would soon need to let her detective go.

"Oh… that tease… well that was just a pre-cursor to tonight, providing you show up at a decent hour."

Olivia chuckled lightly, annoyed slightly by the huskiness in her own voice.

"Oh I will definitely show, but who is determining this "decent" hour - you're suspended dear any hour would be decent for you."

Olivia dropped her voice further, praying her partner wouldn't hear her.

"And here is a little precursor for you baby - all I have thought about is what it feels like to touch and taste perfection. The way it feels to be inside you, the way your body arches as you cum and the breathless way you whisper my name afterwards. So I shall say again… I will definitely be home tonight, and not to sound cliché but… whatever dreams you have been having I hope will pair in comparison for what I have planned."

Alex felt her body flush and stammered as she blinked back the need Olivia's tone awakened. She swallowed and licked her lips slowly, her voice shaking slightly.

"Ok… fun time is over detective… and the joke is on me. I can't wait… see you tonight Olivia. "

She quickly hung up the phone, her lips frozen in a soft smile as she recalled the brunette's soft spoken affirmation that she too couldn't wait for tonight and she blushed to think Olivia thought her perfection. Alex felt content albeit aroused but she could wait… the detective was more than worth waiting for. With that in mind she pulled out a few of the case files she'd had smuggled out of the office to her and set her mind on working - hoping that it would provide the much needed distraction.

Olivia closed her phone and turned to look over at her partner, immediately flushing with a combination of self righteous anger and embarrassed amusement to find him wagging his eyebrows as he made an obscene gesture with his two hands. She rolled her eyes.

"Really El… are you fourteen again?"

Elliot smiled and laughed at his partners exasperation.

"No, are you? That was kind of a hot conversation you were having there… I couldn't make out the words but the tone was… definitely one I never need to hear again."

Olivia leaned across the desk and arched an eyebrow.

"Don't mention it El… I want to be the one to tell Kathy you are having perverted thoughts about me again."

She watched as her partner paled and laughed loudly as she punched his muscled arm.

"C'mon you perv, lets get over to Warner's and see if we have an ID yet… if you haven't heard I have a hot date to attend to tonight."

Elliot chuckled and nodded as he grabbed his coat.

"Lead the way Casanova or are you more of a Marque De Sade type?"

He felt before he saw the resulting blow against his arm and rubbed the spot - forgetting for a moment how deceptively strong his partner was.

"Ow Liv… ok… ok… no more jokes. Lets get an ID and catch this son of a bitch."

_A/N: Once again, thank you for all the reviews and added alerts. Hope the read was enjoyable ;)_


	5. Catching a Break

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, they belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and whomever else has a stake in the game.

Warning: This rates an M and contains descriptive sex acts based in fiction between two female characters.

_A/N - Once again, thank you all for the fabulous reviews - I will get around to responding back this week - enjoy!_

**Catching a Break**

She slowly circled the body as she listened to Dr. Melinda Warner explain her findings. They had indeed caught a break in the case. Whether by sheer sloppiness or by interruption, their killer had finally made a mistake. He had missed the faint healing scar that ran down the underside of their victims breast, indicating its augmentation, and where there was augmentation there was sure to be a serial number attached to one of the saline filled implants. Olivia found herself sharing a smile with her partner as she whipped out a notebook to take down the name and address that the serial number had indicated. They had a name - finally - something solid to work on.

The ride to the upper east side was made in companionable silence and Olivia found time to reflect once again on the woman who was waiting for her to come home. The thought made her smile. She'd never had anyone to wait for her to come home before and the idea of it being Alex made the attached emotion even more enjoyable.

"Shouldn't you be thinking about a way to catch this perp instead of your hot little affair?"

She turned towards the teasing tone and resisted flipping her partner the finger. He really could be insufferable at times, especially when he had a point. She raised an eyebrow and turned back to check out the city scenery, her smile replaced by a slight frown. The first thing she would need to check were the victims subscriptions - if it held to the tentative pattern Munch and Fin had confirmed then their perp was someone with access to that mailing list, more than likely an employ of the mailing service of the company itself. She had her money on an employ - some nerdy something who was too shy to seek female companionship, with a violent streak, probably an over-bearing mother… she would have to check with Huang to be sure but she imagined she was not far off the mark. She hoped they closed the case soon, if she was lucky she would be able to take some vacation time and spend the rest of Alex's suspension with her - if she was lucky.

Alex pushed her body harder, her feet pounding the pavement as the greenery sped by. She had missed running like this, the physical labor making her mind peacefully blank and it was one of the best ways to work through her current sexual frustration. She had already ran her requisite five miles but had decided upon its completion that five miles wasn't near enough for her to burn through all the thoughts running through her head so after a quick stretch she started her course again. Now over half way through it she was regretting her decision - if she kept this up she would be way too tired to do anything more than sleep tonight and she so wanted to do more than sleep. Her mind flashed back to the detective who had left her bed this morning and their teasing conversation from earlier. The playful flirtatious banter was defiantly something she could get used to and for such a dedicated cop Olivia was proving herself to be very verbose - something Alex found extremely attractive. If she hurried she could work in a relaxing bath and a refreshing nap before Olivia could be expected to be home.

Home.

The thought made her smile briefly, her smile widening slightly when she noticed the last marker of her course, indicating she had one mile to go. She checked her watch and wondered if Olivia was having any luck on the case.

Elliot watched the intensity on his partner's face as they questioned the employees of Crossmarked - the puzzle company they had traced as the supplier of the only tangible link between their victims. They had started with the billing department and discounting the female employees they had begun to question any and everyone with access to the customer mailing lists, and it seemed that everyone they had encountered had an alibi for at least one of the nights in question. He found himself wondering if they were being biased. After all none of the bodies had retained evidence of spermicidal or seminal fluid - maybe their perp was a woman - although if it was she would easily qualify as the century's worst female serial. It went against their profile since most women killed their families and were not known for mutilation or rape. But as they continued questioning and gathering suspects the thought was seeming more and more attractive.

Olivia found herself getting more and more frustrated as it began to feel as though they were barking up the wrong tree. Every male they had questioned had an alibi and they were quickly running out of names. The case was already frustrating enough without all the road blocks that kept appearing. Olivia knew if the circumstances were different she would probably be reveling in the challenge but right now all she could think about was all the time this case was taking away from her exploration of the present situation with Alex. For the first time in her career she resented the hell out of her job. She caught the furrowed look on her partners face and thanked their current interviewee for his time and stood to open the door of the temporary office the company had been so kind to provide for their interrogations. Shutting the door, Olivia cursed and banged her fist against the wall.

"This is bullshit El… the guy has got to be here, there is no other connection and this one can't just be circumstantial."

"Well maybe our perp isn't a guy Liv - we have been assuming his gender based on the violence of the crimes. But a female perp would explain the lack of forensic evidence in regards to the rapes and the methodical mutilation, true it goes against the female serial killer's profile but it certainly isn't impossible."

Olivia gave it some thought. Her partner was right, they had been acting on the assumption that their perp was male, but that was all it was - assumption. She could almost hear Alex's low voice cautioning her about acting on assumptions and the memory of that office conversation made Olivia smile slightly. She re-focused her thoughts on the task at hand and nodded at her partner.

"Ok, lets widen the search to include all the female employees with access to the mailing lists, I don't know if I buy it but we need to shut this psycho down now before he or she escalates any further."

Alex groaned softly as she heard the faint sound of a door being unlocked and opened. She felt the bed sink as her guest sat down beside her and felt her lips curve into a smile as felt her detective lean down, nuzzling her lips against the sensitive skin of her neck. She turned and looked into the tired familiar face, her voice soft as she reached a hand up cupping soft olive skin.

"Hey you…rough day?"

Olivia nodded and leaned into the touch. It was nice to come home to someone - it was a nice feeling to be asked how her day had gone. She turned her head and kissed the soft pale skin against her face.

"Yeah… we got our ID, but… no luck on a suspect… not yet."

Alex sat up and wrapped her arms around her tired lover - lover - the term made her smile as she pressed her lips against Olivia's temple.

"You'll get your perp soon… are you hungry… I can…"

Her statement was cut short by the press of soft lips and a whispered no. She looked into dark eyes as her detective shook her head no. She felt her body pressed back to the bed and the covers drawn over her.

"Liv?"

Olivia shook her head and smiled at the questioning look on the beautiful pale features that stared up at her from the bed they had shared the previous night.

"Go back to bed baby… I need some time to decompress… it really was a rough day."

She thought she saw a shadow of hurt cross over the attorney's features but dismissed it as a product of her own tired mind. She knew Alex was disappointed and she knew the blonde had expected a much different end to the evening but as much as she wanted to fall back between the sheets and lose herself in the warmth she knew she would find, the stress of her day and the disappointment of performing interview after interview and finding no solid leads had ruined the night she'd had planned for the two of them. She turned and stood, making her way to the bathroom wanting nothing more than to allow scalding water to wash her day away. She slowly unbuttoned her blouse and let it fall where it was soon joined by the rest of her clothes. She stood beneath the hot spray, moaning slightly as her muscles relaxed from the combination of vigorous scrubbing, steam and scalding water. It felt good to wash away the stress of her day. She closed her eyes as she slowly ran her fingers through her hair, her nails scraping against her scalp. Olivia stiffened as she felt a second pair of hands join hers and the brush of hardened nipples against her back.

"Alex…"

She felt strong thin arms circle around her waist as she was pulled into a warm embrace. Soft lips caressed her skin as a low husky voice tickled her ear.

"Shhh… I know its been a long day, just relax and let me take care of you."

The implication that she needed to be taken care of caused Olivia to scowl and pull away, turning to glare into kind blue eyes.

"I can take care of myself Alex."

Alex drew back, intrigued and confused by the animosity in Olivia's voice. This was not going as she had planned. She had simply wanted to show she cared and while her body ached for the brunette's touch she was more than willing to put her desire on the back burner out of respect for the long day the detective had gone through. She stepped back as the older woman pushed past her, exiting the shower door leaving her alone in the spray of water that was quickly cooling. Anger flooded her system as the rudeness of the detectives actions settled in her mind and she roughly ended the flow of water before grabbing a towel, storming out of the bathroom after Olivia. She found the woman roughly yanking on a fresh pair of jeans and pulling a white tank over her still damp body.

"Where are you going Olivia?"

Brown eyes narrowed as they gazed into blue making Olivia sigh.

"I think I am going to spend the night at my own apartment Alex, I can't deal with this right now."

Alex crossed her arms over her chest, holding the thick towel against her as her voice dripped sarcasm.

"This? What is this exactly detective? Please… clarify it for me."

Olivia paused before growling in frustration, sitting down on the bed pulling socks and shoes on- fully intending on following through with her earlier statement. She ignored the request for clarification and stood to see the thick white towel falling to the floor. Against her will, the still wet naked form drew her gaze as her eyes traveled up long muscular legs, trim hips, full breasts to defiant blue eyes. Arousal rocked her system, her own nipples tightening in response to the unfettered view that was so flagrantly offered. She closed her eyes as a shudder worked its way down her body, damn her desire and damn Alex for igniting it.

Alex watched, smugly enjoying the effect she was having. She could see the stubborn set of Olivia's jaw and the squaring of her shoulders and knew that the detective intended to push past her. She stepped into the brunette's path, her hand wrapping around a bared forearm, her voice low.

"Don't ignore me Olivia. Clarify "this" detective."

Olivia felt the shock that exploded through her body at the blonde's touch and roughly jerked away, her hands cupping the high cheek bones as she yanked full lips against her own and pushed her body aggressively against the slender attorneys - backing her up to the wall. Their shared kiss was bruising as they poured shared frustration, seething anger and burning need into the tangible contact. Olivia held Alex still as she pulled back and sank her teeth into a pouting lower lip - sucking brutally before moving her lips lower to attack an elegant throat.

"Oh… fuck Liv."

The profanity surprised her as she heard her own husky voice panting noisily as calloused hands firmly wrapped themselves around her breasts, jerking them upward, the fingers tugging at her hardened flesh. She cursed again, the residual water that coated her body paling in comparison to the moisture now soaking her inner thighs. She felt her body lifted as her back slid up the wall, her legs wrapping around a lean waist in an attempt to anchor herself. She felt the hot mouth currently against her throat shift lower and she gasped as it found the hardened peak of her breast. Alex groaned loudly and slid a hand through the damp locks, tangling her long fingers in the short hair, tightening as she held Olivia to her, urging her continue, to take all she could. She felt the scrape of teeth and cried out as sharp even teeth sank into her sensitive flesh.

Olivia growled - every cry, every curse, every moan, every time that husky alto said her name she grew exponentially wet. She felt out of control, driven by the need to silence the blonde, driven by the need to please her and most of all she was driven by the need to control some part of her shitty day. She felt the long legs surrounding her waist tighten, pushing her tank higher, exposing her abdomen to the wetness between Alex's thighs. With no barriers her path was clear. With one hand tucked under a silken upper thigh, Olivia braced her knee and the attorney's weight against the wall before slipping her hand between them. Her fingers brushed over the trimmed path of pale hair, teasing a trail down - her fingers parting swollen lips before plunging into slick heat.

Alex jerked her head back at the swift penetration her breath rushing past her parted lips. This was not what she had expected after the detectives cold response in the shower. She gasped aloud again as teeth tugged at the sensitive skin around her breast and the fingers inside her pushed and pounded harder. Her thoughts sank into mindless need as she rolled her hips, urging the insistent hand between her thighs to brush up against her clit. The teeth against her flesh sank deeper as long talented fingers moved faster and Alex wasn't sure which sensation pushed her past that edge but her orgasm slammed into her with the force of a freight train. Lights exploded behind eyes she couldn't possibly keep open, her ears rang with the sound of her pounding heart and her body throbbed and pulsated as the building tension uncoiled within her. She felt her back pulled away from the wall and unconsciously wrapped her arms around Olivia's shoulders, her body limp in the aftermath. She barely registered the feeling of the mattress as it pressed against and around her body and looked into fathomless brown eyes.

Olivia stared hard into the dazed blue gaze as she slowly and methodically spread the smooth thighs wider. She felt numb, beyond the point of recognizing her own needs - she only wanted to possess the form beneath her. With men she had never felt the freedom to give into aggression but now aggression was the her driving force. She locked her gaze on the beautiful woman who looked at her so trustingly and slowly trailed the tip of her tongue from the valley formed by breasts marked from her rough handling down the line of a flat stomach to the waiting heat below. She tasted the orgasm given earlier and swirled her tongue deeper. She slid her hands beneath the blonde and lifted her, drinking her in as she stared defiantly into the hazy blue eyes of Alexandra Cabot.

Alex arched as her body tensed and heat curled once again through her core. She couldn't tear her eyes away as she watched New York's finest use her mouth as a follow up. The sight was erotic and the hard eyes that stared into hers were savage, despite the slow careful movements of the heated muscle within her. It never occurred to Alex to fear what she saw in Olivia's eyes - she merely accepted it as the detectives way of burning through her repressed anger from a day that was too long and too disappointing. She gripped the sheets and gave into the tug and pull of the talented mouth against her and let Olivia work out her demons.

Olivia stared unblinkingly at the textured ceiling above her, her mind working furiously over her actions that night. She glanced at the sleeping blonde beside her and she slowly rolled to her side, her hand pulling the sheet down, uncovering the smooth expanse of pale flesh that covered a slender frame. Her eyes traveled down the feminine curves and she visibly winced as she saw the darkened pattern of where her fingers had pressed too hard, the red scrape of teeth where she had bitten or sucked too long. What the hell had been going though her mind? She knew Alex wasn't delicate or fragile but… Olivia knew she should have been more careful. She remembered the rage she had felt, all the anger she had gathered at the hours of wasted time she and Elliot had spent at the puzzle company had seethed through and in an effort to silence the calm questions being thrown her way she had turned their mutual desire against the beautiful lawyer. She felt the tug of the sheet and watched as it was pulled back up out of her grasp and met the sleepy look on the face that turned her way.

"Liv? What's wrong?"

The slow husky alto distracted her and Olivia tried to step around the question.

"Nothing… I just can't sleep."

Alex rolled over to face the brooding detective.

"So… you decided to visually molest me?"

She watched the horrified look that flashed across the older woman's face and sat up, her hand reaching over and wrapping around a warm wrist.

"Olivia… I am joking…you are more than welcome to look - as long as you offer the same in return."

She smiled and then frowned as she realized Olivia was still dressed in the same jeans and tank top she had yanked out before they had fallen into a sort of sexual marathon. Alex felt her face flush when she realized she had been selfish in her own pleasure and had not even touched the beautiful woman beside her. Well… she reasoned - she really hadn't been given a chance. Olivia had turned and twisted her body, supplying orgasm after orgasm and had never really given her a chance to reciprocate. The last thing Alex remembered was being pinned to the bed, her back exposed to the air as Olivia had worked her from behind and as she stretched she realized just how sore her body was. She let the sheet fall as she sat up and looked down, surprised to see the marks on her pale skin - realizing exactly what had the detective upset. She looked over at the tortured gaze that swept down her body and sighed. She leaned over and curled her body against the toned form, pressing her lips against the underside of the detective's jaw.

"It's nothing to be worried about, I bruise easily and my coloring doesn't exactly offer the best background for camouflage."

Olivia scowled and looked down, her voice raspy with regret.

"That doesn't excuse what I did tonight Alex."

Alex sat up and gave the detective a pointed look.

"And what is it you think you did tonight Olivia? If you are referring to what transpired over the past few hours - the only complaint you will hear from me is that you didn't allow me to return the favor. I don't know if I like you keeping all your clothes on when we make love."

Olivia pulled away, confused by Alex's acceptance of the violent way she had touched her tonight.

"I wouldn't call what we did making love… "

Alex raised an eyebrow and shrugged, wondering where the conversation was going.

"Well if you want to argue semantics… then I don't like you leaving your clothes on while we fuck. Where is this going exactly?"

Olivia sighed and laid back down, folding her arms behind her head to resume her earlier study of the ceiling. She grunted slightly as she felt a warm heat settle across her waist and looked up to see Alex astride her. She groaned and sat up with the intention of removing the attorney, but fell back as a firm hand attached itself to her shoulder, shoving her back down. She frowned.

"Alex, get off of me."

Alex glared down at the stubborn woman beneath her. So much for the honeymoon phase of a relationship. She leaned down and covered the olive toned wrists, trapping Olivia's hands behind her head. Their lips were inches apart and Alex leaned closer to let them brush together while she got her say in.

"I don't want to get off of you. I want you to listen and let me talk for once you stubborn angry mule. Do you think you can do that detective?"

Olivia struggled not to smile at the ADA's description of her and nodded, the feel of those soft lips rubbing back and forth against her own were becoming distracting.

Alex smiled at the nod, surprised when the detective remained submissively under her. She gently pressed her lips against the brunettes, kissing her briefly before drawing back to resume her purposeful tease.

"First Olivia, I enjoyed tonight - I lost count after my sixth and I have never been fucked to the point of exhaustion, not have I ever passed out on one of my lovers before - so - detective, consider tonight a rare accomplishment."

She rubbed her lips slowly back and forth as she stared into gaze that was growing increasingly warmer. Another kiss, longer - deeper than the last but just as brief.

"Second, since you have pointedly refused to answer my questions, I shall answer them for you. To clarify - this detective is what is called a relationship, at least it is to me and I want to be more to you than just a convenient screw. "

She sat up and traced her hands down the muscular arms and slid them over full breasts, the raised peaks and slight movements of the hips beneath her confirming the brunettes desire. Alex let a slow smile curve her lips as she leaned back down, pulling Olivia into a slow tangle of lips and tongues. She felt the rush of released breath in her mouth and heard the slight groan as she pulled away, her voice dropping suggestively as her hands massaged and squeezed the full breasts pressing against her own.

"And third - lose the attitude baby, I know you would never hurt me. I know you had a long day, I know how angry it makes you and I know you tapped into that tonight with me and… its ok Liv, believe it or not I understand."

Alex smiled and sat back up, rolling her hips slowly as she pressed down rubbing against the denim material that separated them.

"Now detective… since we have already fucked as you so delicately put it, are you ready to stop being stubborn and let me return the favor."

Olivia looked up into the bright blue eyes and watched as a pink tongue darted out, running over a swollen lower lip. Her breath caught in her throat in amazement at the multi faceted sides Alex was showing her. She could scarcely believe that the light teasing and honest omissions could re-awaken a desire she thought she had suppressed. She slid her hands out from behind her hand and rested them on silky thighs.

"Lets keep things straight counselor, the term "fucking" never left my lips - if memory serves correctly you were the one who coined that term."

Alex found herself laughing as she wrapped a hand around the white cotton material of Olivia's shirt, pulling the detective up, growling playfully.

"Shut up and kiss me Olivia."

Elliot laid his hand on the buzzer in front of his partner's building, sighing in frustration as he tried Olivia's cell phone again. Where the fuck was she? He heard the rare sound of his partner's laugh and turned to see her shutting the door of and expensive black Mercedes before turning, her face dead panning - presumably at the sight of him standing in front of her building. He felt his face breaking into a grin.

"Is that the minute man? Don't you want to introduce him to the other man in your life?"

The last of his sentence died on his lips as the expensive car sped back out into traffic and he turned to see the smug look his partner flashed him.

"Guess… not."

Olivia rolled her eyes and took the cup of coffee her partner had brought her and closed her eyes in pleasure as she took a long sip of the steaming liquid - enjoying the way the warm liquid coursed down her throat, warming her body in the cool morning air of New York. She shook her head and felt her lips curving into a grin.

"No."

Elliot raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly.

"Ok… enjoy your little secret while is lasts, I know I will meet him eventually. By the way have you talked to Cabot since her suspension?"

The sudden change of subject and the mention of the ADA she had just left almost caused Olivia to drop the hot coffee in her hand. She stammered and cleared her throat, oblivious to the odd look her partner threw her as he watched her reaction.

"Um, yeah we had dinner the other night, she said to tell you she was sorry about the whole search warrant thing."

Elliot felt his frown deepen, that didn't sound like the ADA at all but he let is slide. Maybe being suspended had knocked the tall blonde down a peg of two, because before he would never of thought she knew how to say she was sorry. He had appreciated her desire to put Sam Cavanaugh's rapist behind bars but despised the way she had used him and Olivia to do it. Despite it all he found that he kind of missed the leggy blonde in a way. Sure she was pleasant to look at, a fact that had no escaped his wife the one and only time she had met the young ADA but he missed having a constant go-to for arrests and searches. So far he had been unimpressed with the green ADA's that Donnelly had forced upon them and he knew Olivia felt the same way. Still… it was intriguing the way she had reacted to hearing the ADA's name.

Olivia clenched her teeth in silent frustration at her own stupidity and was thankful that Alex had sped away when she did. The tint of her windows was dark but not that dark. At least Elliot had never seen Alex's car and up until this morning Olivia had not know she'd had one. This morning. The memory of waking up naked, next to an equally naked attorney was still something she was getting used to. She recalled their shared shower and breakfast followed by the offer to drive her back to her apartment and found herself smiling. She caught the look on her partner's face and flushed slightly, inquiring belligerently what he found so interesting,

Elliot smiled as he held her door open, recognizing her clothes as being the same ones she had worked in the day before.

"Just seeing what you look like when you smile Benson… it's a good look for you. I'm guessing the minute man is working out then."

He caught the roll of his partner's eyes and found himself sharing in her good humor. She'd been through a lot over the past year - her mother dying, the IAB investigations, her mentor being raped. After all that she deserved some happiness. His cell phone pulled him back to the present and he answered it - surprised to hear Fin on the other line. He nodded and shut the phone, calling out for Olivia to hurry up - they had a lead. He was greeted with the sight of his partner rushing out of her bedroom as she pulled a simple black tee shirt over her toned body and turned too late for the image to not be burned in his mind. He sighed dejectedly - not that he would trade Olivia for anyone else but sometime he wished she was a little less attractive. He returned his gaze as she swung her brown leather jacket on and raised an eyebrow as she grabbed his arm pulling him out of her apartment.

Olivia grinned and snatched the keys out of Elliot's hands, jogging in her exuberance towards their unmarked car. By her count Alex had 14 days left of her suspension and she was more than ready to close this case. She yelled for her partner to move his ass and turned the car on, hoping that they had just caught the break they needed to close the case and catch the sadistic bastard.


	6. Discovery

Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order SVU but I am enjoying the temporary use of the fabulous characters Dick Wolf created.

Discovery

Olivia watched the timid young woman as she fidgeted in the interview room. She had already interviewed the young woman once and there had been nothing about the girl that had drawn her suspicion, but her instincts were wrong. Munch and Fin had been simultaneously doing background and alibi checks on everyone she and Elliot had interviewed. According to their information the girl had no alibi for any of the murders, she had no friends, no social life, no family - she was a ghost, a wallflower and the mysterious air about her needed to be broached. She and Elliot had already agreed that she needed to be the one to do the interview - if she truly had a thing against other women then it would be Olivia who would draw her out - not Elliot.

She let Elliot look her over, acquiescing to his suggestions to smooth out her hair and unbutton her blouse. The reapplying of her lip gloss was her own idea before she turned to enter the interrogation room. She watched as the suspect turned to glare at her, her pale green eyes narrowing. The rest of her face remained blank and Olivia sank into the metal chair and introduced herself.

"So, Ashley my partner tells me you lied to us yesterday."

She watched as the pale woman shook her head as she mumbled.

"I never lied detective."

Olivia lifted an eyebrow and glanced down at the dossier Munch had gathered, flipping to the notes she had taken.

"Well it says here that on January 14th you were at a bar with your co-workers - yet none of them remember you. Nobody admits to inviting you, in fact they laughed at the notion. So if you weren't at the bar then where were you while Teresa Stanhope was being killed?"

Olivia waited and watched as pale hands disappeared beneath the table as Ashley looked down.

"Maybe I was mistaken in the date, that was several months ago and it isn't as if Ms. Stanhope and I ran in the same circles… I only recognize her name from the news. Until you and your partner came to Crossed Mark I had not even identified her as one of our subscribers."

Olivia frowned, the girl had an answer for everything, but something was off. Maybe it was the slow way she responded or the obvious lack of emotion. Maybe it was just the thought of this meek individual performing such depraved acts that had her off her game. Whatever it was she knew she had to take a break from the interrogation. Making an excuse and asking the young suspect if she would like something to drink, Olivia stood and exited the room, finding herself face to face with Elliot and Cragen.

Elliot recognized the look on his partner's face and frowned.

"You don't think she could have done it do you Liv?"

He watched as Olivia shook her head and let loose a sigh, rubbing his hand back and forth over his buzz cut.

"Dammit Liv! She is the only one whose alibi's aren't holding - who gives a damn if she is a woman, something about her isn't right. Look at her."

He watched Ashley as she stood and walked the perimeter of the room - one foot in front of the other with her hands held behind her back. It was a military reaction from someone who has no ties to the military. Her expression was one of boredom, a vacant look frozen on plain pale features. He caught the dark brown eyes that darted his way and shrugged, suggesting that they wait for Huang.

Alex heard the soft ring of her cell and reached over for it, smiling to see Olivia's familiar number flashing on the screen. She hit the talk button and couldn't stop the smile from permeating her voice.

"Hey you."

Olivia felt her lips curve into a soft smile at the ADA's obvious pleasure at receiving her call. She leaned against the wall and responded softly.

"Hey… what have you been doing all day?"

Alex put down the towel she had been holding and leaned over the counter she had just cleaned, her voice teasing.

"Just a little of this, little of that… practicing my homemaker routine."

Olivia found herself laughing lightly at the image of the tall lithe figure in a dress worthy of Mrs. Cleaver.

"So what will the little woman have ready for me to eat when I come home?"

Alex felt her eyes widen and laughed generously.

"You wish detective. After all day slaving over suds and cleaning up your mess from last night I think I deserve to be taken out for a night on the town."

Olivia dropped her teasing tone and responded in a low serious tone.

"You deserve a lot more than that Alex, a lot more than I am giving you right now."

Alex hummed and turned to lean her back against the counter, her brow furrowed slightly by the serious comment.

"It's a sweet sentiment Liv, but let me decide what I deserve and what I don't."

She heard the humph on the other end of the phone and smiled. Her detective could be so stubborn at times. She started to ask how the case was going when she heard Olivia's partner in the background. With a promise extracted for the dark detective to call her during her next break, Alex let the older woman go.

She wanted to know where they were with the case, but she would rather Olivia get the damn thing solved. At this rate she was going to spend her entire suspension playing tug of war with the one six in competition for Olivia's attention. Once her suspension was over, making time for each other was going to be a feat; they were both wholly dedicated.

She let her thoughts drift back to last night and realized Olivia had done nothing to confirm or deny that she saw their interactions as relationship worthy. They had not really talked at all other than the brief verbal spar over the marks that had been left on her pale skin. She has given herself a cursory look over in the mirror after returning from dropping Olivia off and could appreciate the brunette's concern. It did look a little bad, but they were painless for the most part and they had not triggered a response during the act - so Alex failed to see what the big deal was. She shook her head as she spotted the love bite right beneath her ear - now that was something she would have to put a stop to once she went back to work. She doubted it would ever be acceptable for her to show up at work or appear in court with a visible marking garnered from a sleepless night. The thought of the looks she would earn from Elizabeth Donnelly or Judge Petrovsky made her laugh - maybe it would be something to consider.

Olivia watched as Dr. Huang interviewed their only suspect about her childhood, her life, lovers and work history. Just as with her questions, the young woman answered slowly and deliberately. Her answers made sense to every question asked but they still felt off. Her opinion was echoed by Huang as he met with them behind the two way glass.

"I can't place it Detective Benson, but you are right - she seems so real and yet something isn't right. Every answer she is giving me feels rehearsed but she can't know what I am about to ask and nothing I am asking is a standard question. It is almost robotic. The best I can offer is that she displays some anti-social behavior, but she doesn't appear to be a true sociopath - and a sociopath is what I would have pegged your murderer to be."

Olivia leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Do you think she is physically able to do the amount of damage we found on each victim?"

Huang turned to look at the slim figure as he nodded slowly.

"If she were to suffer from a psychotic break then yes, I think the increased aggression and adrenaline would give her the strength to carry out the mutilations you found on your victims. Have we looked into her childhood? Have you checked out anything she admitted to while talking to me in there?"

Elliot nodded.

"I've got Munch on it now. But Doc, c'mon - not every psychopath has mommy and daddy issues. Why are we placing so much importance on how she was brought up? Who gives a damn. All I want to know is if she is good for my murders and rapes so I can close this case out and get home to my wife."

Olivia sent out a silent ditto. This case was already getting on her nerves and the sheer violence of it made her sick - but more than anything the thought of a woman doing those things to another woman threw her off her game. She decided to pick the psychiatrist's brain a little more. So far nothing they had done had caused a reaction from their suspect. If they had a chance in hell at a conviction, they were going to have to find the trigger that set this bitch off - because right now all their evidence was circumstantial.

"So… how can we get her to talk? Do El and I need to tag team her? Does it just need to be El? She didn't seem to give a damn when I was trying to provoke her earlier."

Dr. Huang took a moment to study the slow restless movements of the woman on the other side of the glass before turning to address the question posed by Detective Benson.

"Good question detective. Truthfully I think the only way we are going to break her is to expose her lies. The more agitated she gets the closer she will be to a psychotic break. You touched a nerve earlier with the comment of her co-workers finding her company laughable. From what I can tell she has no close personal connections with anyone and doesn't seem to mind - but finds the idea of ridicule insulting. Keep insulting her detective and I bet she shows you a different side."

He turned to the tall imposing figure who stood protectively next to the female detective and nodded.

"Be ready to respond too Detective Stabler. If this suspect explodes the way I think she will, the sooner you can get into that room the better."

Olivia watched as her partner nodded and saw the scowl on his face. She knew he didn't like the idea of her being in danger from a suspect. She laid a hand on his arm, feeling the tension in the corded muscles.

"Hey El… I will be ok. Look at her, even if she rushes me I think I can hold her off long enough for you to get into the room to play the hero."

He glanced into the interrogation room again and back at his partner. There was no denying Olivia could take care of herself but the fact that even the normally optimistic FBI doctor had warned then to expect a powerful attack did not set well with him. He shrugged it off though, he was confident in his ability to protect his partner. He shove Olivia and nodded towards the door.

"Lets nail her Liv."

Alex pressed her nose against the curve of her knee, exhaling slowly before bending into the next position. Her boredom had finally driven her to workout. The purposeful stretching of her limbs and muscles felt good - it wasn't often she did yoga in the comfort of her own home, but it was too dark to go jogging in Central Park and she didn't feel like putting herself out on display at the local gym. She ignored the first ring of her cell - recognizing the ring as the one she had assigned Elliot Stabler, whatever it was he wanted could wait till she was off of suspension. She cursed lightly when her cell rang again and contemplated shutting the device off. When it rang the third time she pulled herself up, growling as she snatched the phone off of the counter, flipping it open.

"WHAT!"

Elliot pulled the phone away from his ear glaring at the tone he had been greeted with. Never mind, the weeks away from work had obviously not done the ADA a damn bit of good. He could not understand why Huang had wanted him to call the blonde but he had followed her instruction, despite his reservations. He was barely holding onto the rage boiling to the surface at what had transpired over the past hour. He heard the flippant tone again and growled into the phone.

"I was told to call you counselor. Our suspect went bat shit crazy, Liv was rushed to Manhattan General just a few minutes ago."

He hung up angrily and resisted throwing the phone against the wall as he played over the incident in the interrogation room

Olivia had pulled up a chair, flipping it around cockily before sitting down to stare at the defendant. Her tone defiantly taunting as she pushed and prodded at what Huang assured her was a weak psyche. She could see the tension building in the young woman's shoulders and could hear the anger starting to creep into her soft spoken replies.

"So Ashley tell me - why are you still here? Most people would have demanded to leave, demanded a lawyer, demanded something. Not you though. You just sit here and take it like everyone's favorite doormat. Not a drink, not a snack, nothing but the bullshit you have spun around yourself. Is it the attention? Is that why you are still here? Do you feel special or something?"

Olivia stood and got into the young woman's face, jerking her chair around to put them nose to nose. She saw the dead look in the pale green eyes, ignoring the cold tingle in her spine as she sought to dig deeper.

"You know what little girl, you are nothing special. I think you are just wasting our time. I think you murdered those women out of spiteful jealousy. They belonged, they stood out - something you will never do. I think you raped them to prove you could and mutilated them so they would never show you up again. I think you used your contacts at the job to stalk them - maybe you thought you were kindred spirits, that you could find another loner like yourself but you find them as well adjusted as everyone else you know and it pisses you off."

She barely registered the soft voice as the girl calmly said her name. She heard it the second time.

"But detective… you haven't let me answer your first question…"

Olivia scowled.

"What question would that be Ashley?"

She saw the movement a second too late and lost her balance as she crashed back against the chair she had previously sat in. She felt the hot flash of pain in her groin as the suspect screamed.

"I stayed detective, I stayed to kill YOU!"

She looked away from the pale gaze and down to the pen protruding from the top of her right thigh and felt another stab of pain as something slid between her ribs and then the world exploded as the door to the room banged open and she watched as her partner threw the small woman off of her. Huang was at her side immediately, his hands gentle. She took a deep breath, wincing as pain shot through her body, pulling the doctor close enough to whisper that Alex be called before she felt her body lifted and the room went dark.

Elliot paced in front of the operating room, questioning every nurse that passed by - would his partner be alright. They all told him the same thing, to wait till the doctor was through. He hated waiting and this was the first time since being partnered with Olivia that he had ever had to be on this side of the operating room. He should have listened to his gut instinct and not let her go in alone. He should have paid better attention, but it had happened so fast he barely had time to react to what he was seeing. They found the broken mirror in her bathroom and concluded she had hidden the object on her person before they had invited her back to the station. The pen explained why her hands had remained under the table during most of the interview. How could they have been so fucking blind? He caught the sight of a familiar slender frame, the blonde hair and dark glasses confirming his suspicions that he was staring at their ADA. Her presence was a puzzle as was the request that she be called. He watched as she walked towards him, her facial expression a compelling mixture of anger and concern.

"What the hell happened?"

Elliot looked into flashing blue eyes and glared back.

"She was interviewing a suspect and out of nowhere the crazy bitch attacked her - I got there as soon as I could but…"

Alex paled and grabbed the lapels of the dark suit jacket in front of her, forgetting that she was supposed to be conducting herself as a concerned friend, forgetting that nobody knew she and Liv were more.

"But what detective? What the hell happened! Why are they operating?"

Elliot gripped the thin arms in front of him and schooled himself not to squeeze too hard as he pushed the ADA away.

"The suspect hid a shard of broken glass that was missed during the original pat down. During the interrogation she must have slid a pen away from the table and somehow she worked a piece into the plastic. She lunged at Liv, stabbed her in the groin and pushed the remaining shard into her side. She nicked the femoral artery and the glass shattered on impact… they are sewing her up and removing the shards - that's all I can tell you counselor. I keep getting the run around because I am not family."

Alex could see how upset the detective was and stilled her verbal attack. She leaned against the wall and sighed.

"It could have been worse… so much worse… if she had gone for her neck or chest or…"

She felt the heavy weight of a hand on her shoulder and looked up into steel blue eyes.

"I have been telling myself the same thing."

Elliot moved away, his anger and worry did nothing to distract his curiosity about why the lawyer was here. Had it been a professional courtesy, an overlook by Huang that Alex was still on suspension - but if so why had she rushed over and why was she so concerned? He knew Olivia had on occasion had lunch with the young ADA but that didn't warrant this sort of reaction. He studied the blonde from the corner of his eye, watching as she subconsciously smoothed her hair and checked her cell phone before resuming his earlier action of pacing. He narrowed his eyes, deciding to press the issue.

"Why are you here Alex? I know I called you but why come at all, you and Liv aren't that close."

Alex felt her face drain of color and turned to coldly face the detective.

"I would expect a phone call to let me know if any of my detectives were injured Stabler. Even if I am suspended I am this squad's ADA and I expect to be kept in the loop."

She saw the stubborn detective process her words and was immediately annoyed at the disbelief on his face.

"So counselor, you are saying if the shoe had been on the other foot and I was the one in that operating room you would be pacing this hallway and yelling questions at Olivia?"

Alex took three steps, placing her face to face with the annoying smug expression on Olivia's partner's face. She hated that she had too look up to face him but jutted her chin out and lowered her voice coldly.

"I don't know how I would react detective, and I do not know what you are insinuating but you can drop the attitude."

Elliot backed away, still feeling like he was missing something but not in a hurry to spark the blonde's anger. He doubted she would even care if Fin, Munch or himself was under the knife - maybe Cragen - but not anyone else. His thoughts were broken by the re-appearance of the doctor who had been operating on Olivia. He strode up to the man, disliking the blood smeared on his scrubs.

"Is she going to be ok?"

He stood still as the doctor assured him his partner would make a full recovery and offered to let him in to see her. He cut his eyes at the tall blonde before opening the door, slipping in as quietly as he could. The sight of Olivia laying on the hospital pulled a lump into the center of his throat and he shook it off as he approached the bed. He didn't grab her hand, they were never ones for being touchy feely but nudged her side gently, letting her know he was there.

Olivia groaned softly and looked up, smiling slightly.

"Stop blaming yourself El, the doc assures me I will make a full recovery."

Elliot shook his head, his frown still present.

"How long before they release you?"

Olivia grunted slightly as she tried to sit up, wincing before letting her body fall back on the bed.

"They want to keep me overnight for observation but you know how I hate hospitals. Can you pull some strings of something - these places make my skin crawl."

Elliot found himself smiling - if Olivia was anything she was stubborn.

"You can't even sit up partner - how are you going to make it around that apartment of yours all by yourself?"

Olivia sighed, dejectedly and felt her lower lip puff out in a childish pout.

"I will be fine El, if I need anything I am sure I can call my "minute man" and if not then I bet you or one of the guys can come over. Besides if I get hungry there is always take out and I can shower myself so what is the big deal. Now get me released partner."

Elliot felt his eyebrow raise - he had forgotten about the guy Olivia had been seeing.

"Do you want me to call minute man and let him know you are here?"

Olivia shook her head, chuckling slightly.

"And let you find out who he is? No. I like to keep you dangling in the wind."

Elliot laughed. If his partner's sense of humor was still intact the he was sure she would make a full recovery. He told her he would see what he could do and as he reached the door he remembered the forceful blonde waiting in the hallway. Turning he glanced over at his partner.

"By the way our own ice princess is here. You want me to send her away?"

Olivia frowned slightly.

"How did she know I was here? Who called her?"

Elliot shrugged.

"Huang had me call her, but the way she came running made me think she must care about you a whole lot Liv."

Olivia felt her cheeks flush and hoped the dim light provided enough cover for her to deny it.

"Whatever Elliot. Alex cares about me as much as any of us. I'm sure she would have showed up regardless who was hurt. Besides being our ADA she has got to be bored out of her mind, no wonder she came running."

Elliot felt his mouth tighten as he looked skyward, contemplating his partner's words, finding it odd that they so closely resembled the ones the ADA had spoken earlier. He shrugged again.

"So do you feel up to answering her usual barrage of questions or do you want me to keep her out of here?"

Olivia feigned annoyance and motioned with her hand.

"Eh, let me just get it over with Elliot - go ahead and send her in."

Alex watched as Elliot re-emerged and stood, hoping that Olivia was still awake. She took a hesitant step forward, relieved when the tall man indicated that it was ok for her to enter. She watched as he made his way down the hall before entering the darkened room. The sight of Olivia bandaged and beaten was hard to handle and she struggled with the urge to console. She approached the bedside cautiously and reached down, tangling her fingers with the detectives - her voice soft.

"Liv?"

Olivia tightened her grip on the slender fingers gripping her own and smiled into the worried face of her lover.

"Its just a scratch or two Alex, nothing to be worried about. Although the doctor did say no hanky panky for the next week or so."

Alex shook her head, her brow furrowing.

"I don't care about that Olivia, I care that you're alive."

Olivia grinned up at the frowning blonde and winked.

"Well I care counselor, that news definitely did not make my day."

Alex felt her eyes roll but returned the incorrigible smile that shone up at her.

"You are something else detective. So… when are they going to let me take you home."

Olivia lifted the pale hand intertwined with her own and kissed the back of it softly.

"I sent El to find out, but I think its best if I go back to my place. I know Elliot and Cragen are going to want to check on me."

Alex nodded, feeling a slight sting at the suggestion before being tugged down. She sighed against warm lips as they brushed against her own and smiled as Olivia whispered an invite to join her. She nodded before slowly pressing her lips down.

Olivia moaned softly into the kiss, disappointed when the contact ended. Feeling bold she tugged the attorney down again and lifted her head as she released the slender hand and curved her arm around the lawyer's neck.

Alex let her tongue play against the parted lips and they took turns pressing forward and moving back, never allowing their contact to deepen. She pulled away, laughing lightly as she kissed the brunette softly.

"Hey I thought the doctor said no hanky panky… besides your partner will be back any minute."

Olivia smiled, her eyes closing half way as her gaze settled on Alex's full moist lips.

"What they don't know wont hurt them."

A deep voice broke through her sexual haze and Olivia snapped her eyes open to see her partner standing in the door frame.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that… partner."

_A/N - I know its not nice to a nice place to leave off but…. It will give you all something to look forward to next time. Thanks for the feedback. Hope you enjoyed this latest addition! _


	7. Confession

Disclaimer: As if it has to be said… the characters are borrowed from Dick Wolf's creation. I own nothing (darn) and I can't make money on it (again… darn)

**Confession**

Olivia felt her heart stop for a moment as she looked past Alex to see the tall outline of her partner. She looked at the shocked look on the tall blonde's face and saw the whisper of fear behind her deep blue eyes. She bit her lower lip and murmured softly.

"Alex, can you give Elliot and me a few minutes."

She watched the uncertainty play across delicate pale features, relieved when Alex didn't press the issue and insist upon staying. She waited while the ADA had squeezed past her partner and listened as the door shut leaving her and the man closest to her alone in the dark room.

Elliot watched the worry crease his partner's brow but remained silent He was still trying to process the sight of Alexandra Cabot leaned over his injured partner, the sight of his partner in a heated lip lock with another woman. They looked far too familiar for the kiss to have been their first and yet - he had never picked up on anything more than heated tension between the two women and that was on the rare occasion when they stood toe to toe arguing their views on a case, each voice escalating until Cragen broke them up. He felt like the world's biggest fool and the deception hurt. He had thought they had an understanding, that they were nothing if not honest to one another - after all how could they trust each other if there were lies between them. He slowly stood with his back to the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest, waiting for an explanation.

Olivia pushed the controls of the bed, wincing slightly as the mechanism jarred her injured body but she wanted, no, needed to sit up and face her partner. She knew he was hurt, she knew she had fucked up - but she hadn't known how to tell him… she still didn't know how to tell him. She looked at the aggressive stance and sighed.

"El…

His deep voice cut her off.

"How long Olivia? How long has this "thing" been going on between you and Cabot?"

Olivia took a deep breath.

"It started during the Sam Cavanaugh case… "

Elliot lifted an eyebrow and remembered the look had had witnessed between the two women as they had stood in the doorway of Linda Cavanaugh's apartment, he remembered thinking that it was possible that something was going on between his partner and their ADA but he had dismissed the idea as being a product of his overactive and sleep deprived imagination. He slowly uncrossed his arms and ran a hand through his short hair as he gave an exasperated sigh. Slowly he moved away from the door and lowered his frame into the uncomfortable chair beside the bed. He looked into his partner's dark eyes and frowned.

"Why didn't you say anything Liv? I'm your partner. We are supposed to trust each other."

Olivia let her head fall back against the pillow as she closed her eyes. Everything Elliot said was true. She turned to look into his familiar blue eyes, comparing them to Alex's and wondering briefly how there could be so many different hues within a single color.

"It never came up. When you saw me the next day you assumed that I had been with a man. We don't talk about our sex lives Elliot, I don't ask about yours and I didn't see the need to tell you about mine. Does it really matter who I sleep with?"

Elliot scowled.

"It does when its someone we work with Liv. What about that thing with Cassidy? You know how awkward things got? Well Cabot isn't Cassidy, she can't just tuck tail and run when things go south between the two of you. She is our assigned ADA Olivia, what the hell were you thinking?"

Olivia growled in frustration.

"Why do you assume things are going to get awkward between Alex and I? Why do you assume that I was the only one who pursued this? Where do you get off on telling me who I can and can't sleep with? In the end Elliot - it is none of your fucking business."

He stood and turned to pace the room. She was right. It wasn't any of his business who she slept with and in the end it didn't matter. He stopped, stood still and looked at the beautiful woman across the room. She had always been guarded about her private life. He didn't want to argue the issue, he didn't want to fight, but he did want to know that his partner was going to be ok.

"Does she make you happy Olivia?"

Olivia felt her anger fade as confusion set in. Of all the things she had expected her partner to ask that was the one she had least expected and the one she most wanted to hear. She nodded slowly, his question making her smile slowly as she answered softly.

"Yeah… yeah El she does."

He reclaimed his seat and slowly grinned.

"So… um… are things as hot as I imagine they are between the two of you?"

Olivia felt her mouth fall open in shock and laughed once before wrapping her arm around her waist, groaning as the impulsive movement sent a hot burst of pain up her side. She groaned and turned away.

"Please don't tell me you are seriously standing there and imaging the two of us…"

Elliot reached over and patted Olivia's arm.

"Nah, my wife would kill me, but I can't say the same for the rest of the group - you know Munch has always had a soft spot for Cabot."

He paused as he squeezed his partner's arm.

"Seriously though Liv, look at me for a sec."

He waited till the soulful brown eyes he knew so well met his.

"I'm glad she makes you happy… you deserve to be you know. And don't worry - you don't have to ask for my discretion… it's a given partner. Just uh, next time do me a favor and um… lock the door."

Olivia smiled and yawned sleepily.

"Thanks El… for everything."

He nodded and stood again.

"I'll go find Cabot… someone's gotta make you take care of yourself."

He walked to the door and turned before leaving.

"Take the next two weeks off. That's from Cragen but you can tell Cabot she can thank me later."

Shaking her head at her partner's arrogance Olivia found herself smiling freely - feeling surprisingly unburdened with the fact that Elliot knew, knew and accepted it. Despite his stern religious beliefs and his occasional derogatory comment concerning homosexuality - he really was one of the good guys. The opening of the door drew her attention and she watched as Alex entered the room slowly.

Alex felt the tension in her body drain at the obvious relief on Olivia's face and slowly made her way to the brunette's bed.

"Hey, I saw Elliot on the way out. He said to tell you he would call later."

She studied the calm look on Olivia's face, something she had rarely seen and surmised that things with Elliot had gone well. He had certainly seemed a lot more friendly towards her.

She was dually surprised when a strong hand cupped her cheek, pulling her close as a soft voice breathed against her face.

"Where were we counselor?"

Alex smiled and allowed herself to be drawn back down against familiar lips. She opened her mouth and let her tongue be pulled into a languid spar before the sound of a throat being cleared forced her to pull away for the second time that night. She turned to see the trademark grin on Elliot Stabler's face and scowled as his deep laughter rang through the room. She jerked back as something white flew past her face and watched as the pillow bounced off of the detective's chest and looked down as Olivia groaned, obviously forgetting that she needed to restrain her movements until her wounds had healed.

"Dammit Elliot - go home!"

Elliot shook his head and wagged his finger as he made a second exit, having only come back to see if she had headed his advice about locking the door. Thinking to remind her he called out over his shoulder before allowing the door to shut.

"I told you to lock the door Liv… sleep well tonight - I know I will."

Alex looked from one detective to the other and frowned slightly.

"Olivia, what is he talking about?"

The brunette looked up at the attorney, finding the slight scowl and pout endearing.

"He is just being facetious, ignore him."

Alex shook her head - cops. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the resilient woman in bed. She had wanted Olivia all to herself but not like this. Sitting down she sighed softly, feeling more than a little guilty - next time she wished for something she was going to have to be a little more specific.

"I spoke to the doctor earlier and he said you are free to leave so long as you agree to take time off work."

Olivia nodded.

"Elliot told me Cragen approved me to be off the next two weeks."

Alex nodded slightly as she stood up and restlessly straightened things around in the room. Her compulsive neatness displaying itself in her nervousness and while her back was turned she asked the question that had been on her mind since receiving word that Olivia had been injured.

"What happened Olivia?"

Olivia watched the tall blonde as she re-arranged various items, her long slender hands in constant motion. She recognized the compulsive need to be doing more than sitting there and simply observed. She still found it difficult to believe that she was in a relationship with this woman. The thought stopped her. Were they in one? They certainly had the right chemistry connecting them but neither of them had confirmed that it was something more than that - in fact the only mention had been Alex's whispered admonishment in a heated attempt to assuage her of the remorse she felt for her brutal love making. She had indicated to Elliot that she and Alex were together - she had admitted that the dynamic woman made her happy so then what was she so afraid of. She caught the pointed gaze that was leveled on her and realized that she had never answered the question Alex had posed. Running her hand over the thin sheets that covered the bed she divulged the events that had led up to her unexpected hospital stay - keeping then as brief and concise as she could.

"Its my fault really Alex - I knew something was wrong, something was off and I saw her fiddling under the table. I just chalked it up to a nervous habit and kept pushing. None of us could have imagined she had somehow secreted anything sharp enough for a weapon nor that she was capable of such a violent outburst. I judged her on her physical appearance and I judged I could take her if she went on the offensive. It was a careless mistake on my part and I guess I have some new scars to show for it."

Alex listened and shook her head, still shaken that a perp had gotten the better of her two best detectives.

"Well I am just glad it wasn't more serious - I was in shock when Elliot called to tell me…. Wait that reminds me… how did he know to call me? I could tell by the look on his face earlier that he had no idea about you and I… "

Olivia nodded.

"I told Huang to call you before they wheeled me out of the interrogation room."

Alex stood in silence, not sure exactly how she felt about the FBI psychiatrist being made privy to her personal life. She could accept Elliot and count on his discretion, but Huang wasn't bound by the same camaraderie. Still silently fuming at her detective's hasty decision she felt her back stiffen and hated the coolness that crept back into her voice.

"I see."

Olivia recognized the cool anger in Alex's voice and slowly sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed - the bandaging on her groin and the pulling of various muscles caused her to bite her lip in an effort to still the pain her movement had caused. She noticed the concern on the ADA's face, before the tall blonde hid the emotion behind a tight smile. Olivia shifted again, and hissed as her injuries began to throb. She was tired of playing the invalid and she was ready to get the hell out of the hospital. She gently slipped the IV out of her arm and pulled the various monitoring devices away from her body, her eyes closing as a loud shrill sound echoed through the room. She glared at the machine and the nurse who burst into the room.

"I'm fine. I just need to get the hell out of here."

Alex fought her growing amusement at the growl that rumbled out of the brunette's mouth and saw the startled look that poor nurse threw her way. She tried to be diplomatic and explain that the detective had a slight phobia against being offered assistance but stopped when she felt the ironclad grip that encircled her thin wrist and looked down to see a stern gaze being leveled her way.

"Don't, don't make excuses for me and please don't think you are going to baby me after we leave."

Alex felt her lips twitch as she tried to mask her amusement.

"I wouldn't dream of it detective."

Her mind still swam with thoughts about where all this heat, chemistry and mutual respect she had with the blonde was going but the steady throb of pain that seemed to continually pulse through her body was enough of a distraction to deter that particular conversation until much later. Olivia gave in after her first few tries and allowed the ADA to assist in the task of getting her redressed in the provided hospital scrubs - after which she let her head fall onto a strong slim shoulder and relaxed into the loose embrace offered by the tall blonde. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the subtle scent that seemed to waft from the slender woman in her arms and sighed.

"It feels like its been a while since I've been this close to you."

Alex lazily let her fingers brush and slide through the detective's short brown hair and felt herself relax for the first time since she had received the cryptic phone call from Olivia's partner. She let her lips brush against an olive toned cheek and whispered softly as she relished in the intimacy of their position.

"I don't think we have really been this close before detective."

She paused and smiled as she pulled back to lose herself in the dark brown eyes that stared up at her in question of her statement.

"Not that we haven't been close… we just are usually missing a couple of layers or are in the process of divesting them."

Olivia pulled the slender frame in her arms closer, planting a chaste kiss on soft pink lips.

"I'm sorry Alex. That's my fault - my schedule… these cases… "

Alex stared down at the beautiful woman and frowned before cutting off the stammered apology.

"Detective, I haven't exactly been taking things slowly either. If you will recall I am the one who initiated all this.."

She looked up at the ADA and felt her lips curve into her lopsided grin.

"I'm glad you did Alex… I wasn't going to be making a move anytime soon."

Olivia felt her fingers spread as they were interlaced with the attorney's and let herself be pulled slowly to her feet. She felt her eyes widen and fought to steady the majority of her weight onto her left leg. She took a shuddering breath.

"Jesus… the doctor wasn't kidding when he said no hanky panky. I can barely stand, I doubt I can walk and when it comes to stretching this leg out…."

She let her eyes fall shut as a warm breath caressed her ear.

"What if you just lay there and take it?"

Olivia opened her eyes and glared at the smirking figure that was gently pressing against her side.

"Not funny counselor - please say you are not going to tease me while this heals…"

Alex found herself contemplating the idea and decided that for now that would be just too deliciously evil. She cupped the brunettes cheek, her fingers curving slightly around the shell of Olivia's ear as she tugged the slightly shorter woman forward against her lips. She pulled back, letting her tongue slide over her lower lip - wetting it before tugging Olivia's mouth back to hers as she slowly enticed the older woman into a gentle open mouth exploration.

Olivia shook as her mouth was skillfully maneuvered and groaned softly as Alex's teasing tongue played in between her lips. She still couldn't get used to the heat the younger woman was capable of inspiring with a mere kiss. Her good leg shook as her body grew limp and Olivia jerked her mouth away regretfully, her voice raspy as she groaned.

"Alex… don't…. you know all it takes is just one kiss… one kiss from you and…"

Alex nodded, unwilling to admit that she too has been shaken by the contact. She reached her hand out and pulled the wheelchair the nurse had left as she tired to mask the huskiness in her own voice.

"Let's get you out of here."

She leaned over….

"Oh and Liv… it has only ever taken one look from you for me."

Olivia found herself grinning as she gingerly sat down in the proffered wheelchair.

"Always trying to one up me aren't you?"

Alex felt her eyebrow raise, responding as she gripped the back of the chair.

"Always, detective… always."

_A/N- Sorry for the slightly longer than normal delay in posting (I have been trying to post at least a chapter a week)… corporate types came to town so I had to play my part in the dog and pony show. Thanks for the adds and reviews - hope all enjoyed._


	8. Sleeping Arrangments

**Sleeping Arrangements**

Olivia looked slightly embarrassed by the state of her apartment. Her home never really felt like a home, just a familiar place she came to sleep after being awake for days and eat familiar favorites from local take-outs. It wasn't necessarily messy but she knew she could do better and after being subjected to the compulsive neatness that seemed to flow effortlessly from the young ADA she was currently involved with - Olivia felt conspicuously sloppy. She sighed and let her head fall back onto the arm of the couch. She had offered her bathroom to Alex having been amused by the slight sweat the attorney had worked up by helping her take one step at a time up the three flights of stairs.

Her groin burned and no matter how she lay or sat it seemed to irritate the stitched up wound. She had to admit she had never considered having a scar anywhere near that area but she had to be grateful that the attack had happened in a controlled environment and the danger of having one of her major arteries nicked had not escaped her. She shifted again and looked over at her table to the prescription pain meds Alex had picked up for her. Being fully aware of her addictive nature, Olivia was careful not to over indulge in the things that would make life numb - but God help her the medicine looked good. She reached over and read the label, her ears picking up on the sound of water being turned off as her lips twitched in amusement - waiting for the inevitable cry as the ADA got doused with any icy blast. She was not disappointed and chuckled at the slightly muffled curse that came from her bathroom.

She twisted off the cap on the medicine and shook out two pills. She held them in her palm for a moment before tossing them into her mouth and dry swallowing them. She grimaced at the bitter taste and lay back letting her eyes drift close.

Alex shivered as the cool air of the apartment hit her rapidly cooling body. The icy blast that had quickly faded into scalding hot water and freshly scrubbed, she felt renewed. She felt almost certain she would find her detective asleep and she entertained a hundred wicked ways to awaken the beautiful woman before the reality of their situation set in. Alex felt her smirk fade as she realized there was no way she and Olivia could engage in anything overtly physical until her wounds had healed. She let her mind drift back to the way Olivia had rested against her and held her close in the hospital and Alex realized she had enjoyed that intimacy almost as much as their lovemaking… almost. She had yet to probe into the conversation Olivia's had with her partner and found herself wondering of she had passed it off as a quick fling, a one time thing or something more substantial. She slowly ran the thick towel over her damp flesh before slipping on the pair of white boxer shorts and NYPD tank Olivia had unknowingly provided.

She deposited the damp towel and her discarded garments in the small hamper and quietly re-entered the living room. Sure enough Olivia was fast asleep, her tanned toned stomach exposed by the raised OR scrub and her visage twisted in an intriguing combination of peaceful discomfort. Unable to resist Alex licked her lips and knelt beside the couch, resting her head against the warm fragrant skin, enjoying the feeling of rising and falling tangible evidence of deep breathing. Gently she nuzzled the smooth skin and turned her mouth to press a soft kiss against the bandage at Olivia's side.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't tease me Alex."

Olivia watched as the blonde jerked her head upwards and felt her lips twitch in laughter at the deer in headlights expression on Alex's face. She accepted the gently press of lips against her own and smiled sleepily.

"Mmm that's more like it - keep it chaste counselor."

Alex shook her head and lifted an eyebrow, giving voice to some of the dirtier thoughts that had been running through her mind while she had been taking a shower.

"The doctor only said no hanky panky for you… he didn't mention a thing about me and from where I am sitting there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with some of the parts I'm interested in."

Olivia felt her mouth drop in mock horror and shifted away.

"And what parts might that be counselor?"

Alex shrugged let her eyes drift up and down the taunt frame stretched out before her. She felt her eyes droop slightly and bit her lip as she dropped her husky voice an octave.

"Well for starters, there is nothing wrong with your mouth or tongue - both of which have been verbally sparing with me since we have met. And then there are your hands - no injuries there - all ten fingers seem to be operational, no broken wrists…"

Olivia found herself shaking her head and laughing lightly.

"Someone certainly seems to have given this a lot of thought."

Alex nodded her response before standing up and stretching. She looked down, noticing and enjoying the way Olivia's dark eyes followed her every move. She reached a hand down.

"You would be correct detective. Lets go to bed - that couch hardly looks comfortable."

She saw the weary look in Olivia's eyes and open and closed her hand for added effect as she rolled her eyes.

"Give me some credit Benson… I prosecute sex crimes, I don't commit them."

Olivia felt her lips tugged into a lopsided grin.

"Damn straight Cabot… no means no."

She enjoyed the laughter that trickled from the ADA's lips, deciding she liked the carefree sound. She let her hand be taken and slowly stood to her feet - appreciating the pain medicine now more than ever. The sharp pain had dulled and Olivia found it much easier to take the small baby steps towards her bedroom. She slowly lowered her body to the soft mattress, amused that Alex had already pulled the comforter and sheets away. She slowly moved towards the center of her bed and leaned back, resting her weight on her elbows as she tried to think of the best way to lay back.

Alex watched the slow movements and struggled to clear her mind. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms and legs around the athletic form spend the next few hours celebrating a life that could have so easily slipped away. Less than half an inch… that was what the doctor had told her. Less than half and inch and Olivia would have bled out in minutes - and there would have been nothing anyone could have done to stop it. She had omitted that detail - not wanting to scare Olivia in the same way the information had scared her. She held no illusions to the danger of Olivia's job but having someone you cared for come that close to death was unnerving.

She waited patiently and gently crawled onto the bed. She leaned over Olivia and looked into her eyes, closely watching her for any sign of pain or discomfort as she slowly swung a single long shapely thigh over the side of the detective's hip. Gently she straddled the detective, being very careful not to nudge the side of her injury or press her weight down. She felt the muscles of her stomach twitch as warm hands rested on the tops of her thighs and a husky voice spoke up to her.

"Alex…"

She leaned down and gently brushed her lips back and forth across Olivia's, whispering softly.

"I don't want to hurt you baby… I just need to be close to you."

Taking a chance Alex nuzzled against short locks and whispered softly.

"I'm just so glad you are ok."

Olivia nodded slowly. The weight atop her was comfortable and the warmth that radiated from the center of beautiful woman was damningly arousing. She swallowed hard when she felt firm muscles jump beneath her light touch. She knew trying to fight her desire for the ADA was futile but she also had been injured enough to appreciate that she would need more time to heal before she could do anything about it. Desperate to change the subject and delay what she was sure to be a complete assault of her senses, Olivia changed the subject.

"You never did ask me how things went with Elliot."

Alex smiled and nodded.

"I thought you would get around to telling me sooner or later. I've already surmised that things went better than expected."

Livid nodded as she gently massaged the tense muscles beneath her fingertips, effectively drawing a sharp gasp from the blonde as she remarked on her conversation casually.

"He was upset at first, but he just wants to be sure that I am happy."

Alex sat up slightly, resting her weight on the hands that had been placed on either side of the brunette's head. She smiled down at Olivia.

"As much as the man infuriates me, he really is a good guy and I can think of nobody I would rather see you partnered with. I am glad you told him - you don't need to feel as though you have to hide us from everyone."

Olivia slowly slid her hands higher, massaging as she went, her fingers curling around slender hips.

"He is the only one I would consider telling. I know this has to be kept hidden Alex, both of us are too important to have our work criticized by what we do away from the job."

She paused and let her fingers slip in-between the waistband of the white boxer's the attorney had borrowed, ignoring the barely contained intake of breath as she mentioned in an offhand sort of way.

"I told Elliot you made me happy…"

She let her voice trail off and looked to see the slow smile that started in intense blue eyes and ended with the upturned corners of pink lips that slowly descended on her own.

Alex pulled back, her heart pounding with deep emotions she wasn't ready to explore of even reveal.

"You make me happy too Liv."

Olivia could read the need in the restless movements of the body atop hers and briefly contemplated setting aside her own desire to please the younger woman. She slowly circled her fingertips, caressing silky skin, her voice slightly raspy as she threw a roguish grin at her lover.

"Well give me a couple of days and I will devote myself to making you much happier sweetheart."

Alex lifted her head and groaned at the ceiling. The light touches Olivia was bestowing on her body had her hormones screaming and Alex cursed every study she had ever read that stated that women hit their sexual prime at thirty something . What a crock of shit. She shuddered as she felt those same light feather touches moving further up her body and groaned softly when that same hesitant touch brushed across the aching peaks of her breasts.

"Olivia…"

Olivia smiled as she watched the way Alex responded to her touch. She knew she was being a tease but she couldn't resist. Everything about this woman invited her touch, invited her to please and being able to please such an incredible woman stoked Olivia's ego. It was powerful, intoxicating, and fascinating to watch as the long slender body arched into her touch. She knew she was playing with fire and though the moment Alex's control broke she would inevitably press her body down - Olivia was willing to risk the pain to give the pleasure.

Alex felt her legs shaking slightly as she fought to keep the weight of her body off of Olivia's. The feather light touches were doing nothing to dampen the fire building between her legs. She grabbed the wandering hands and pressed them firmly over her breasts - her voice a raw whisper as she commanded the brunette to touch her. She let a soft moan as the hands against her complied with her demand, her own returning the favor, enjoying the soft whimper that escaped Olivia's lips.

Olivia knocked the blonde's hands away from her chest, the rushing of blood to the core of her body was making her wounds throb. She rested her hands on restless thighs and waited for Alex to look at her. She found she could smile at the sight that greeted her. She could have looked at the vision before her for hours - Alex's body, though clothed, bathed in moonlight was nothing short of ethereal. Her attention was drawn away as blue eyes fluttered open, staring down at her in frustration. And Olivia fought not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Dammit Liv… I thought we said no teasing."

Olivia leaned up, ignoring the pain in her side, to place a gentle kiss against the corner of Alex's lips.

"No counselor, I asked that you not tease me… we never discussed my teasing of you."

Alex felt her eyebrow quirk as she carefully slid away from Olivia's athletic body and looked down, wondering just how they were going to manage sleeping in the same bed, with Olivia's left groin and right side both stitched. Either way cuddling seemed to be out of the question, and sleeping side by side without touching seemed totally foreign. She felt a calloused hand against her cheek and turned to look into impossibly deep eyes.

"Hey… I'm sorry Alex… I didn't mean to ruin the mood."

She shook her head and turned into the palm, kissing it softly before correcting Olivia's assumption that her silence had been a reaction to the regretful rejection.

"Its not that Liv… I am just trying to figure out exactly how we are going to sleep together…"

Olivia watched the rising blush stain alabaster cheeks and grinned. It really did sound more awkward than it really was, but Alex had a good point… her wounds did pose a pretty interesting problem. The few times that they had shared a bed they had ended up wrapped around each other in between intense bouts of touching - this would be the first time they would be sleeping together without physical exhaustion coming to play. She shook her head, they were being foolish.

"Alex just lay down, and I will lay down and somehow we will get into a position we can both live with and sleep will just happen. You are way over thinking things babe."

Alex made a disgruntled sound at the back of her throat and flopped down unceremoniously on her back and folded her arms over her chest, more than faintly annoyed by the still hardened peaks that poked against her arms. She felt the soft touch of fingers on her arm and let Olivia pull them apart, amused when the brunette slid their fingers together and her agitation melting when soft lips planted an even softer kiss against the back of her hand. She turned as Olivia made a soft grunting noise, immediately concerned when she rolled to her side.

Cautiously she moved to Olivia's side, whispering softly.

"Are you ok?"

Olivia smiled and pulled the arm attached to the hand whose fingers were currently laced with her own, over her waist and hoped Alex got the message. Between the long day, the pills and previous week of scattered sleep she could feel her inner sandman yanking her eyelids shut.

Alex breathed in and out slowly as she inched forward, her knees bending behind Olivia's as she spooned the familiar body as gently as she could. As she nuzzled her face against short dark hair, Alex felt instantly relaxed. She could feel the deepening breaths that indicated sleep would soon follow. She let her own eyes close, grateful in the presence of the woman she was secretly beginning to believe she was in love with. The memory of Olivia saying that she made her happy brought a smile to Alex's face and with that warm memory still fresh in her mind - the ADA relaxed into a deep sleep holding onto the one thing she never wanted to let go.

_A/N - I know… I have descended into fluffy-dom. Blame it on my own personal contendness with life as it is. This was a slightly shorter chapter than I usually post but I thought it a good note to end things on. As always I enjoy the reviews, thanks again to everyone for reading and responding. _


	9. Rumor Has It

Disclaimer: The characters I don't own - but the methodically typed out lines I will claim ownership of - though it be only for entertainment and not in pursuit of the almighty dollar.

**Rumor Has It**

Alex clenched her teeth as yet another paralegal darted into her office, interrupting her train of thought, interrupting her first day back on the job. She had multiple piles of incomplete folders stacked neatly on her desk - evidence of the absolute lack of talent in the people the DA had used as her replacement - and now she was expected to come in and clean it all back up.

This morning had been the hardest she'd had to deal with in a very long time. She had lain awake, her arms wrapped around the slender firm body that pressed so deliciously to her own. Alex had wanted nothing more than to gently wake the beautiful woman and make love to her until their bodies fell back into exhaustion. She was more than willing to start her first day back with little to no sleep so long as she was allowed to relive the sensation of Olivia in, on and around her. There was no chance of that happening for at least another few days. Alex found herself chuckling at the memory of a very irritated Olivia asking the doctor pointedly exactly how many more days she would have to restrict her movements. She still couldn't believe the daring way the older woman had answered when the doctor had laughingly asked why she was in such a rush to get well. Olivia had stared the young resident down as she answered his question with one of her own - inquiring as to whether or not is was possible for a woman to experience blue balls without, technically, having the balls in question. Alex had to clamp a hand over her open mouth to stop the laughter that threatened to bubble to the surface as the shock on the doctor's face. She had flushed when he leveled his gaze on her and then back to Olivia before slowly responding that while the terminology was different women were capable of experiencing the same discomfort. Alex could still here the sarcasm that dripped from the detective's voice.

"Well then Doc - you better make sure it is only a few more days or I am going to be back in this examination room with something a lot more embarrassing than a groin injury and I am going to make sure that **you** are the doctor I see - so once again, how many more days do I need to limit the movement in that area?"

A knock at her door pulled Alex from her memories and she felt her lips turn downward as she called for her visitor to enter. She looked up, surprised to see the SVU captain in her doorway.

"Don, to what do I owe this visit? Are you here to help me sort through the mess my replacements left me?"

She saw the hesitation in the older man's face and watched with growing trepidation as he slowly shut her office door, taking a seat in the chair across from her.

"I've heard an interesting rumor Alex - one I am hoping you can clear up."

Alex felt her heart stop for a moment before beginning again at double the speed, as she fought the widening of her eyes - shock and fear mingling in her mind. She felt her hands grow cold and clammy as a bead of sweat formed at the base of her spine. She cleared her throat and looked back at the police captain.

"What rumor Don?"

Cragen studied the cool blonde across the desk. He had nothing but respect for the attorney. She had started her position, fired up and gung-ho at the prospect of getting her name in the headlines only to find things weren't so black and white in the sex crime world. She had lost a lot of disillusionment but had gained an iron will and determination to put the offenders his detectives collared behind bars for the longest amount of time the law would allow. He had also heard rumor that she had drafted several requests for the penalties associated with sex crimes to be placed under review, as well as a review of current law vs. current technology to ascertain if changes were needed to bring the laws, their penalties and statutes up to a standard at which they could compete with the advances of the future. Both drafts were under review by the state's supreme court in Albany, a daunting task for a lawyer as young as Alex was. He felt the stare of piercing blue eyes and brought his attention back to the reason for this visit.

"Agent Huang has brought it to my attention that you may be losing the objectivity of your position. He feels you have allowed yourself to grow too close to the victims, the cases and the detectives that are working them."

Alex paled and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"I admit to a lapse in judgment when it came to the Cavanaugh case, but I hardly think that constitutes this sort of conversation. Tell me what is really going on Don?"

He leveled his gaze on the young ADA.

"Huang thinks there is something between you and Olivia?"

Alex felt her mouth fall open in shock and fought to contain the harsh indignation in her response.

"What exactly does he think is going on? Does he think we are sleeping together? Is that it? Because if that is the case then you can tell Dr. Huang he can expect to see his ass slapped with a lawsuit for defamation of character so fast his head will spin. The idea that Olivia and I.."

She stopped when the captain held up a hand.

"Wait Alex, I don't think was what he was implying at all. I know Olivia well enough to know where her preferences lay. I think the doctor is concerned that the two of you have grown a lot closer since the Cavanaugh trail - hell we all know you offered to take care of her after she was attacked by that suspect - and he is concerned that a friendship between the two of you would undermine both of your judgments and credibility. He is just cautioning that you be careful. He doesn't want cases thrown out because some defense attorney got wind that you two had lunch one day or spent several weeks together, simply because of what it implicates."

Alex was torn between fuming at the FBI psychiatrists assumption, and sitting in silent relief that things were not as bad as they appeared to be. The doctor had a valid point - it was one she had agonized over when she had first realized what it was exactly that she felt for the female detective. Of course the squad knew she had agreed to help out Olivia - but she could quickly blame that on boredom and being the only other female even remotely associated with the squad. She realized her silence was only giving Don time to puzzle over her reaction or lack there of she stood and walked to the door of her office. She looked pointedly at the former beat cop as she opened the door, her voice chillingly cold.

"I appreciate the heads up Captain and I will make the necessary adjustments to my actions as I see fit. You may tell George Huang that the next time he has a concern for the conduct of this office he better address it with me directly."

She watched as the older man started to say something more and then thought better of it as he stood and bade her a good day, leaving her office as abruptly as he had arrived. She shut the door and leaned back against it - Monday's were hell.

Olivia yawned and wrapped her arms tighter around the pillow she held. She buried her nose against the fragrant linen that smelled so strongly of Alex and sighed. All this time off had accomplished was to catch her up on her sleep. At this rate the next all nighter she had to pull would be hell to deal with. Slowly she stretched her arms over her head and gently reached into empty space - stretching her muscles carefully. The healing wound on her side flared slightly but appeared to be on its way to recovery. She bent her good leg at the knee and pulled it to her chest. The movement place pressure on the wound along the edge of her groin without actually stretching the skin. The area throbbed in protest but gave no great stab of pain. She did a few more exercises, pleased that she had regained some movement in the area.

She laid flat on her back, thinking of the blonde that had left the bed this morning as she slowly spread her legs - wincing as she drew them back together. Ok. So maybe she hadn't regained enough movement for that particular position. Frustrated she sighed and beat her closed fist against the solid wood of the headboard. How could she have been so careless? Her injuries had ruined what little time Alex had left of her suspension. Now that she had to report back to work there was no telling how much time they would have for one another. She knew she had to learn to not care, she had to learn to ignore the way she felt for the ADA at least until they were behind closed doors. All of that was going to be hard enough without having to deal with this sexual frustration. They could have fooled around a hundred different times, a hundred different ways but Olivia didn't want their love-making, fucking, whatever they wanted to call it to be hindered by the restrictions placed on her movements. She hadn't been joking with that doctor earlier in the week - she was seriously beginning to hurt from the lack of attention being given to the parts of her body that screamed to be touched.

She sat up and slid both hands through her hair, curling her fingers around her short locks and tugging them upwards before letting go and sliding her hands down her face. She glanced at the pile of case files Elliot had been so kind to bring by. She had been finishing up DD5's the last few days - her boredom making her completion rate much faster and now she had nothing to do to occupy her time. Wanting to do something physical to burn the need from her body, Olivia stood, turning in place before sitting down at the side of the bed. She lifted her legs and braced them on the mattress as she laid back and slowly began to methodically sit up pushing her breath out roughly, inhaling as she lowered her back to the hardwood beneath her - repeating the process again and again. Within minutes her abdomen burned, the wound in her side throbbed and her body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat - but she continued, rolling to her stomach when the throbbing became to constant to ignore. She slid her hands shoulder width apart and locking her feet, she began the first set of push-ups. She focused on the steady sound of her breathing and tried to block out the pain that was beginning to creep into her conscious.

Alex slid her key into the lock, her arms full of files. After speaking to Liz, she had opted to take the case files back to her apartment - although being around Olivia was distracting, at least she knew how and when to be quiet. She had been getting nowhere fast in her office - her concentration had been obliterated by the captain's intrusive visit. Needing a friend or even just a sounding board for her bad day, she had left. She entered the apartment as quietly as she could - knowing that Olivia may still be asleep. The steady sound of harsh breathing drew her attention as she laid her files down and her immediate thought was that sound had better not be what she thought it was.

She strode to the bedroom with the intention of telling the brunette off and paused at the site of Olivia, dressed still in her cotton tee and shorts - now damp with the efforts of her work-out, pushing her body up and down in a slow rhythm that matched the harsh breaths she was expelling from her parted lips.

Lust arose in the tall blonde and Alex slowly slid the tip of her tongue over her lower lip - her eyes raking over taunt muscles and sweaty skin. She wasn't sure how long she stood there watching the detective but the low groan that resounded around the bedroom made her snap out of her haze and she was startled to see Olivia laying flat on her stomach, her breath coming in short gasps. She took a step forward and found herself staring into a single brown eye as Olivia turned her face, pressing her cheek against the floor.

She heard the soft chuckle and watched the single brown eye disappear from view as the brunette turned away - her voice slightly raspy.

"How long have you been standing there?"

Alex took a seat on the bed as Olivia pulled her body up to a seated position and leaned back against its side. Alex smiled and shifted closer, her knee bumping the bared olive toned shoulder as she teased the damp short locks with her fingertips.

"Long enough to get really turned on."

Olivia leaned into the touch and turned her head up to look at the tired women beside her. She grinned and shrugged at the vague answer.

"I guess that means you were only there a couple of seconds counselor."

Olivia felt the light smack against the back of her head and turned to look at Alex again, laughing at the indignant expression on the attorney's face.

"Very funny Olivia… news flash for you babe… you aren't **that** hot,"

Olivia sat up slightly, feeling her lips twist into a mischievous smirk as she got to her knees and turned to face the beautiful blonde. She placed a hand on the bed against the expensive skirt currently covering the toned thigh she knew lay beneath the layer. Slowly she trailed her fingertips up the bared calf and then back down - delighting in the pulse that beat even harder at the base of Alex's throat. She dropped her voice a teasing octave as she slowly moved her fingers higher.

"I bet if I go high enough I will find proof of what a fabulous liar you aspire to be counselor."

Alex felt her stomach clench at both the tone and the touch. She felt a shiver travel up her spine as her nipples tightened beneath the dark silk blouse she had worn today. Christ, she was hungry for this woman. She locked eyes with the teasing detective and leaned back on her hands, her legs opening slightly - a silent dare to continue. She lifted an eyebrow when Olivia hesitated and smirked.

"Afraid to test your theory Benson? Thinking you might have misjudged my reaction to you? Maybe all this time off has had an adverse on your detect…"

The last part of her sentence was cut off by the heated press of an open mouth to her own and she eagerly participated in her own seduction. She felt the hard grip that held her mouth in place as Olivia hungrily invaded her. There tongues slowly tangled before Alex felt her own being sucked greedily into the brunettes mouth. Its release gave her pause to sample the detective before the hand that snaked between her legs caused her to break their kiss. She threw her head back and gasped the older woman's name.

Olivia nuzzled the long neck that had been exposed before leaning back, her fingers dancing over dampened panties as she smirked up at the ADA.

"I think that proves my powers of observation have not suffered from my time off the job - admit it Alex, this is from watching me earlier."

Olivia grinned as the attorney told her to shut up, before long fingers curled around the back of her neck, jerking her head forward for another heated exploration. She leaned into the blonde, resting her body between long spread legs. She pulled back, her voice a breathless whisper.

"I've missed this, missed you."

Alex leaned forward, biting the full lower lip before gently sucking it into her mouth - releasing the wet swollen flesh with an audible pop.

"I want you."

Olivia felt her lips widen in a smile. The sentiment was stated with such surety and delivered on the wake of another passionate kiss. She felt the hem of her shift being raised and Olivia leaned back to allow Alex to divest her of the rumpled garment. Reaching forward she teased the edges of Alex's tailored jacket over her slim shoulders and stopped as pain knifed down her leg at the feeling of Alex's heel digging into the small of her back. The movement had knocked against her left leg, setting fire to her healing wound. She grit her teeth and shut her eyes trying not to voice her discomfort and immediately felt Alex wrap her arms around her, whispering that she was so sorry over and over again. Olivia relaxed into the touch and too a shuddering breath before raising her head to plant a soft kiss against the corner of Alex's lips.

"I guess it's too soon."

She saw the nod as the shadow of disappointment fell over the soft pale features that stared back at her. She bent her head and looked up into the hooded blue eyes, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Lets change the subject - how was your first day back sweetie?"

Alex groaned and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she huffed out a breath.

"It was horrible Liv, absolutely horrible."

Olivia slowly slid her body onto the bed next to her ADA. She rested her head on her crossed arms and looked over at the stressed look on Alex's face and attempted to use humor to deflect some of the negativity.

"Its because I wasn't there - it will get better."

She watched as intense blue eyes met hers and cringed slightly when those same eyes narrowed slightly.

"It's not anything to joke about Olivia. Do you know I had an unexpected visitor today? Any clue to who might just drop by my office unannounced?"

Olivia scowled slightly as she thought whose visit could have pissed Alex off like this. She could only think of two people who had it in their power to ruin the blonde's day.

"Which was it - Petrovsky or Donnelly?"

Alex shook her head and turned to face the ceiling once more.

"Neither one. Your captain came by to see me, to warn me about a little rumor he'd heard? Any idea what he might be referring to?"

Olivia shook her head, confused by the sarcasm that seemed to drip from every word Alex spoke. She reached her hand down and grasped the attorney's - amused by the resistance Alex seemed determined to have at her slightest touch.

"Hey, what's wrong? I can't know what is being said around the precinct because I haven't been there and Elliot isn't really one for spreading gossip. He has been the only one I have talked to."

She paused for a moment, squeezing the reluctant hand she held until she coaxed blue eyes brightened by anger to look at her before speaking softly.

"I'm sorry about earlier - I'm frustrated too, and I really wanted to make love with you… we can still try later tonight if you'd like to."

Alex felt her earlier irritation and anger give way. She hadn't mean to let her bad temper bleed onto Olivia and she felt bad about hurting the detective in her haste to get closer. Smiling she turned to her side and looked into warm brown eyes. Trailing her fingertips along the defined jaw, Alex leaned forward and gently kissed the detective lying beside her, pulling back to whisper against Olivia's soft lips.

"How about you jump in the shower and I will order something in… and we will see where the night takes us."

She smiled at the lop sided grin the brunette threw her and leaned away as Olivia stood offering Alex a view of her bared upper body, and the blonde coughed as she tore her gaze away from the arousing sight.

"Dammit Liv, I'm trying not to want you right now."

Olivia laughed. Until that moment she had forgotten Alex had pulled her top off. She walked towards the large bathroom, knowing that blue eyes were tracking her every move. She looked back before closing the door and caught the attorney. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Looks like you are trying real hard there counselor. I won't worry about saving you any hot water - you look like you could use a cold shower baby."

Alex glared at the closed door and childishly stuck her tongue out. Laughing in amusement as Olivia called out from behind the door - I saw that - which of course she didn't, but the automation of the response had the ADA shaking her head as she walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to find the cache of take-out menus. As she glanced over the wide variety - she settled on Chinese and called it in.

Leaning back she bit down lightly on the pen she held in her hand and wondered how she was going to keep her hands to herself and whether or not it was worth ruining their night by telling Olivia the reason behind Cragen's visit. She didn't think the older women would let her change the subject forever, especially after that little scene in the bedroom. She put the pen down and sighed - things with her and Olivia seemed to never be just easy. The sound of the water being turned off and the sound of the buzzer that indicated their meal had arrived pulled Alex from her melancholy and she decided to make the best of the situation that in her mind was far from perfect.

She handed the money over and took the sacks of food from the delivery service, turning to see Olivia walking into the room, dressed in a tight black tank and loose white pants. Alex swallowed as she realized that the pants were somewhat see through and the detective had left off a few items of clothing. She caught the mischievous glint in the dark eyes that smiled at her from across the room and returned it with one of her own. Well… perhaps she was wrong, perhaps tonight would be a lot close to perfect than she originally thought.

_A/N - I apologize for the slight delay in posting this - I suffered my first brush with writer's block, which is over thankfully. Thank you for continuing to read, and for the comments you have posted. All is appreciated as it drives me to perfect my craft. You readers ROCK!_


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